Edit: The fear of rejection is preventing potential friendships

Edit: I got my answer pretty much. It seems she’ll avoid me throughout the day now and it’s pretty apparent she never had an interest in me. Somehow she thought I was or something. I really didn’t want to have this happen again, I don’t even try to.. but now I gotta find a way to move on…

The last woman I was interested in ended in a bad way. Feeling rejected I told myself to never get involved with anyone ever again, especially a co worker, hence my previous post was centered around a co worker who seemed to have the hots for me.

Well soon after I wrote that post I became interested. Its unclear if she is still interested or even ever was, it could have been me subconsciously trying to make it seem like she was, but maybe it’s just me interested and she’s probably just wondering why I don’t really talk like what most of the other men do there.

The biggest hurdle for me right now is the fear of being rejected again. I didn’t take it too well the last time and it’s really not fun to have to deal with it with having to see the person at work after they rejected you. So now history is repeating itself and now I have been stupid enough to get too involved where I should have been more firm with my rule, don’t date a co worker. That includes talking to them possibly sparking an infatuation with them.

I don’t know this woman’s name but I find her attractive which doesn’t help and I have been avoiding the idea of sparking a social encounter but every morning I work, I’ve been saying hi and smiling to her hoping that she’ll make the first move. It probably won’t work causing her to move on and possibly making things way too awkward and I’ll end up spiraling down even further by never getting involved with a woman.

But at the same time she seems like the type to want kids or already has one and that’s another problem, I don’t want kids. Mainly I don’t want to bring someone into this world because of all the hate, corruption, greed and high cost of living. I’m ok with adopting when I’m financially well. The fact im barely holding it together financially trying to get a new car, a 2019 or 2020 Dodge Challenger and I’ll most likely end up with the V6 3.6L version. Which is fine because I don’t need the Hemi V8 or the 800hp Dodge Demon until I’m retired anyway.

Back to this woman I’m just not sure if it’s a good idea to get involved mainly due to kids. Of course I haven’t even really talked to her because I’m too mentally unstable to deal with another rejection case. It would actually be worse if I started talking to her because I would be more likely to have an emotional bond with her and if things go south, I’ll end up with a worse psyche than I already got and with women, I’m already fractured to the point of no return. So while I’m flirting with this danger I think that if she is one of those women who will approach me it’ll be less painful, but if she forces me to try which i am trying little by little it’s already leading to problems. Other then the morning I have had no luck in trying to bump into her making it seem like this isn’t going to work.

And believe me for the most part i haven’t cared. It was until she started saying morning is when I started getting interested but anywhere else I seen her it was always stupid glances or stares. So while every morning we can say our hello, that’s about as far as I’m willing to take it unless something happens or she decides to approach me it’s unlikely we’ll even be work friends. I’m at least interested in that but if I do too much work to try to talk to her it’ll never work out because I would get too obsessed over her and right now I’m just sort of rattled but if she left today I’d be able to move on easy but most likely avoid any other interaction with other women. If she can’t help me no one else will be capable of handling the task because I’ll be putting my foot down declaring I won’t ever get involved with any woman, even if she makes very signal in the world to get me involved.

I’m just in terrible shape and getting rattled over her without even knowing her shows how bad my mental state is with women really is. I’m not ready for a relationship or dating and I’m not sure if I’m capable of a female work friend yet. Hopefully she understands it’s going to take time for me to work through this and all I can do is take it one step at a time, try to deal with day to day, not the future. If it doesn’t work out it’s more of a reason for me not to get involved with someone. We’ll see but I’m not getting my hopes up with this woman. I am not ready to go through another rejection and already it seems like she may have started to give up but for now the mornings are working well.

The best part is im working in the nearby plant so I can at least focus on trying to make myself more comfortable around her and she may feel comfortable enough to have a brief conversation if she’s really that interested. Doesn’t help that there are other women that the guys have been trying to get me to talk to awhile back but since i won’t be there for several days it might be easier to interact with her throughout the day later on.. but it’ll be difficult because these other two women are constantly around one of them keeps staring in my general location and that just is way uncomfortable and I’m trying to focus on the one i lije who looks more my age. I’m 39 and these other woman must be in their 20s. Either way I don’t have any interest in them even if the one i like doesn’t work out.

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The LGBT word game is completely insane and its pathetic

So this happened: City to ban gendered language like “manhole,” “manpower” and “firemen”

Yes I had to do a couple of eye rolls from Janeway and even a double facepalm Picard from Star Trek. This is what we’re reduced to, the government deciding what words we should use. We have so many other problems in the world such as homelessness, hunger, poverty and greed. There is a high cost of living and the pay stays the same and oh ridiculously high taxes. Oh the minimum wage is going up.. but your normal wages stay the same. We got so much hatred and the ignoring of mental health. Well the LGBT being here is what happens when we ignore mental illness. I may have mentioned in a previous blog post but I’ll say it again, we need to end this insanity. And no not everyone from the LGBT is mentally insane, they’re just brainwashed by the mentally insane. It’s sad they believe it too. We are also told that we need to listen to the professionals. Well it’s the professionals who let them out in the first place without understanding the repercussions. Did they really know these people would be outcasts to society and subjected to violence, suicide and murder? Or that they would obsessively say that males are women and society is supposed to adopt the pronouns that they use.

(Again, go back to the eyeroll/facepalm gifs.)

This LGBT agenda has gone from out of control to completely insane. We went from people being attracted to the same sex to males being women, to kids being transgender and to having to be forced to use pronouns. Oh then there are those who don’t identify as male or female and those who feel like a female one day and a male the next. And thousands of different genders

‘Eyeroll/facepalm.gif’

Ugh.. and guess who’s behind this, the professionals and the mentally insane. Then you got businesses and celebrities behind this such as George Takei from the original Star Trek series, which I believe is also gay. I was ok with that until he became an activist or he was like that and it wasn’t very public, well otherwise he’d already be in a mental hospital instead of being on the original 60s TV show. Either way I can separate his character in the science fiction show from who he is. But that doesnt change the fact these activists are completely insane. Not all of them are. George is pretty vocal at times but he’s generally a good person and doesnt force his pride like some people do. Though he does show pride for being LGBT.

But.. we went downhill.. and I’m wondering if it’s the ambitious nature of closeted people who allowed the LGBT out of mental asylums. If you are rich you can make anything happen and its possible someone like George Takei who had a lot of money allow LGBT people out of mental asylums.

As for the pronoun agenda from the LGBT, well.. it’s a violation of the freedom of speech. If I want to call my brother a brother and not some wishy washy words like siblings I’m going to do that. I doubt the pronoun police will be there to arrest me but it’ll be interesting how this unfolds. Whether people will be fined for saying certain words or whatever this is the end of our civilization and we know it.

I’m praying for a turnaround for these events or the end of us.. at least Noah, flood levels that we need to take our knowledge of today, put it on a deep space vessel (well we need to invent one) and move to a new planet where we can build a proper, logical society.

Hey, maybe if people are successful with the raid of Area 51 we could find a few spacecrafts and use those. (Well.. if they exist lol)

All jokes aside I really fear for our future as a species.

Pray for me as I let my demons control my emotions

Well I had a bit of a mental illness breakdown. Its all because I’m having trouble understanding whether or not my crush has an interest in me. I keep going from I think we’re cool, to this is frustrating.. especially when I see my crush hugging another guy at work. I sort of let it go then it became to I didn’t see her the next day. Was going to approach her but chickened out.

I kept thinking where are the signs if she does like me? Or the signs she doesn’t like me. A gut feeling isnt going to make me understand whether she does. I just know I like and am interested in her.

So now I’m hiding out in the other plant again but there isnt anything to do in the plant my crush works in so.. but flipping out online and a few people claiming she rejected me is just a sign to take it a notch back. If shes not interested, oh well time to move on. If she is.. going to need proof. I got guys from that plant asking me how are things going with me and her. Well I usually just say it’s ok which it is. Even one guy claimed she was single but I tried taking that with a grain of salt.

So needless to say if any of them ask how are things going, well going to flat out say “I don’t believe that shes interested in me” because at this point that’s the truth and why I can’t even approach her. Thankfully I only took my frustrations online and not really at anyone. Most of the stuff was delete-able but not what I said to a person online… which I suppose is ok.

So some time apart will do me some good. Things were starting to go great but now I need to work on controlling my fears of her not liking me and this is where I just need to find out somehow if she does. But I’m doing it passively by just sticking to the other plant for the time being. I dont know for how long or if I will even see/talk to her again. I feel like I failed a test that I can never recover from. Or I can but I have to be very careful from now on. But I just dont have a clue if she likes me or not and everytime I thought she did it ends up being questioned. The fact I dont know and dont have enough confidence prevents me from approaching her.

I dont know if she was there today though because I didn’t see her car, which at first I thought she might have been avoiding me. This is crazy, it something most people can do but I happen to be one where its completely impossible for me to accomplish. So I need prayers. Either shes not interested and I need to move on or she is and I need to know in order to move forward. Because at this point I dont think she does and I’m just not going to see her anymore. If she does like me well.. hopefully something will happen. If not, I pray I never meet anyone else because the same thing will just happen with another woman. And there’s someone online who likes me but they’re too far away and I’m not interested so its easier to leave it alone. Hopefully there is nothing needing to forgive but I feel guilty for saying a few things I shouldn’t have like I wish she’d go away… just overall feelings of anger and frustration. Need a ton of prayers that I can be more calm if this situation is being confronted again. Just glad I didn’t say this to anyone at work.

LGBT indoctrination, recruitment and its evil intentions

You may have heard of “live and let live” surrounding the LGBT community. Many would consider this as who cares what people do in their own homes. However this mentality has driven the LGBT organization to new heights and now they are shoving their lifestyle in everyone’s faces.

In schools, on the street, businesses.. now in the media such as the news and movies such as Toy Story 4 as a subliminal message. If that’s not enough…

Moms expose library’s shocking ‘Youth Pride’ event: homosexuality, transgenderism, drag queens

I couldn’t imagine how this managed to escalate to this point other than maybe, just maybe these people should have never left the mental asylums. Make no mistake about this, no matter what professionals say, the LGBT are mentally ill. Particularly the ones pushing this agenda to the extreme. Recruiting people by singing ridiculous songs about how people should do what they feel.

“If you feel like a girl, then you are one”

This is clearly showing kids and adults that it’s ok to change your sex or gender. Since transgenderism hasn’t really been in the Bible very much it stands to be clear it wasn’t a very big problem. Being gay however that was a big problem as often it was seen as an abomination and homosexuals were stoned when caught being with someone of the same sex.

So where did transgenderism start? It wasnt very easy to get sex reassignment surgery and even making a male look like a woman it wasnt easy. Maybe perhaps most people shunned away from this behavior or its possible it wasn’t an issue. So 4 or 5 out of 2,000 people thought they were the wrong gender. To avoid being outcasts they accepted the sex they were assigned to at birth.

Pretty much this was never an issue up until professionals got it into their heads about sex reassignment surgeries. Trying to surgically alter a male to look like a female despite the fact they’re still a male. Now if we were talking about intersex people, those born as two sexes which is incredibly rare they shouldn’t be considered transgender but intersex. They could be an intersex woman or man depending on the dominant sex. Again this is incredibly rare and unlikely to pose a problem if we considered reality instead of feelings.

If a male feels like he’s a woman or female that’s just a mental problem because, when was the last time you declared yourself as a male or female? I never thought about it. I figure, I’m a man based on the fact I’m male. I was taught this through biology and other teaching.

I never once thought I was a woman or a female. This .08% minority who has been recruiting people to be gay or transgender is inflating their numbers and I can see why it’s so high now. The extreme push for LGBT can only be accomplished through numbers and these people are everywhere now. In business, media and even in church. We’re on the losing side here because the LGBT has been a corrupt entity. Somehow the rights of being gay or transgender has slipped right by us when they closed the doors of many mental asylums. When the funds ran dry some people decided that being gay or transgender isn’t a threat to society.

Ok again, didn’t see people being gay is a threat but who in their right minds thought that males being women was a great idea? I dont care if it was the best idea at the time, transgenders shouldn’t have been allowed to be set free either. Being transgender means being rejected by a lot of potential relationships and they’ve made a big deal out of this.

“If you don’t date a transgender person you’re transphobic, shallow bigoted person who doesn’t deserve anyone”

More mind control, guilt trip scare tactics by the transgender recruitment team. Some transgenders dont think this way yet it’s almost unnoticeable that they’re really a male. Oh then you have those..

“Females do have a penis! You just see women as sexual objects. Wanting a vagina over a penis. Go away you stupid shallow bigot!”

Like is this an effin joke to these people?  I feel like this is an intervention where if you don’t date a black woman your a racist against blacks or if you dont like “plus size” women you’re shallow. Is it really that difficult that people are attracted to some people and not others?

Being gay is something that should be kept in family, behind closed doors.. if that’s even permitted…

Being transgender, there needs to be a better way than allowing men to be women and women to be men. Conversation therapy is becoming an illegal practice and already a few legit ones were forced to be abandoned because it’s not part of the LGBT agenda where..

“If you are gay, then be gay. If you want to be a female, then s*** f*** you are a female.”

The LGBT organization is relentless and what they are doing is evil. They need numbers and they’re pushing kids to be transgender or gay. We “live and let live” and this is what we got. The real sad part is these people will either try to deny this or they’ll say “you’re a transphobic, homophobic bigot dinosaur that needs to die off.”

Yes they’ve said that to some people on social media. The things they say shows that they’ll do anything it takes to make the world accept and love gay and transgender. Even though no matter what there will always be those who will not. They know this and when they get enough numbers and too many many rights, people including me who is speaking the truth will be jailed for life without parole or access to the outside world. They may as well put us folks in Gitmo if they had their way.

The LGBT must be stopped.

 

People have forgotten what America is

Poll: Less than half of US adults feel extremely proud to be American

This is the problem in America. I’m proud of what America was founded on. Ever since the Declaration of Independence America was that white picket fence dream, with a beautiful wife, nice car, nice house, nice neighbors, and a sustainable job. And In the olden days you were proud to have kids. Now kids are too expensive to have, government has too much control over your children.

In this day and age its different. It’s been taken over by drugs, corruption, greed and worst of all too much government control and expenditures. I tend to agree here with some of these folks because America is becoming a liberal state. The founders of this land wanted to get away from all that and start a better future. Something that has been taken for granted. We forgot how to fight for America. So while you have that American flag up in the air with fireworks, pizza, hot dogs and soda (or hamburgers) watching the parade and visiting the local carnivals. Just remember, America needs our help in restoring the American dream. We definitely could use it, so we can get the freedoms of growing as a nation. This country is so divided right now and its because the liberal half has no idea what America is all about.

We got transgender kids, LGBT is being forced onto everyone. Abortion is rampant and if that’s not all Americans are in a crazy rush to cramp everything into one day rather than taking it day by day.

America has had its problems in the past and some of that has been corrected. Other things like allowing a male to be a woman… is taking freedom too far. It unfairly takes the rights of men to want to find love with the opposite sex. We did something right by separating these folks in mental asylums, only to the extent that they were not in public. There was a lot of ground work inside these asylums that needed to be dealt with and the partial problems was that these LGBT people were not cared for or looking for a better cure. America has become a Godless country. We need prayers that this nation can be saved.

White Nationalist Threats Against Transgender People Are Escalating

Wow. It seems like my predictions have become true. I think its only a matter of time before these people get organized..

Threats of Transgender violence escalating

It seems that some people are starting to take action.. but it’s not the kind I was expecting.  I’ve said time and time again that being transgender is wrong. Tried to steer these people in the right direction and all they can do is ignore it and ban me from Facebook. That’s right not only my page was banned from doing any posts I’m also banned from my main account. That made me upset so I deactivated my account while giving Facebook staff a piece of my mind.

But they dont care and they wont because I dont share the same views as those who support the transgender movement. But it seems that all my concerns keep falling on deaf ears. I warned them, tried to show them the right way but it appears now that these people are in a real warzone.

A Hatewatch review of internet chatter, social media posts and recent news events shows hate groups ramping up their efforts to demonize the transgender community, going as far as calling for the deaths of trans people.

Transphobia has long been an animating force within the white nationalist movement, but the tenor of that hatred has changed due to two converging factors. White power activists are increasingly embracing violent language and actions as political tools at the same time the transgender rights movement is more active than ever.

White nationalist and former U.S. Congressional candidate Paul Nehlen announced on June 19 a plan he called “PROJECT DOX ***** STORYTIME.” He urged his nearly 400 followers: “Get photos of all the degenerate parents who take their kids to this filth. Get their license plates, anything else you can.”

It can only escalate from here. The violent behavior of these people hasn’t been seen since the KKK and it’s really just a matter of time before this verbal and passive aggressive physical violence will turn to an actual warzone in the streets of America.

At a June 15 Drag Queen Story Hour in Spokane, Washington, some 400 people stood in support of the event while another 200 came to protest. There was a large law enforcement presence, including officers with sniper rifles stationed on a rooftop.

Nehlen responded: “You motherfuckers remember it was YOU who escalated this ***** shit with SNIPERS. My guess is, when all is said and DONE, there will be a minimum of 100 FEWER state-payrolled uniformed employees for every ****** protesting mom shot by your snipers.”

Note I blocked some word out, only because i dont need any reason to get banned here, but so far wordpress has given me the freedom to speak my mind about this touchy subject.

Yet this is what happened. We’ve already taken this out to the streets and its quite ridiculous that its escalated to this point because the transgender community and professionals will not listen. They dont understand that they are putting peoples lives at risk. This is the tipping point folks. The online war on transgender with many people voicing their concern, disgust and hatred for transgender people. I dont really believe that 6 out of 10 people really support transgenders. Surveys are mostly a group under 1,000 people maybe 10,000 but it’s a far cry from the billions that inhabit this planet so a more realistic number would be 1 to 3 out of 10. And that’s just guesswork but there’s a lot of people who dont support transgenders but they dont want to admit they dont like them. There has been more than a few people I talked to who at first supported the idea but later on when they found out I didn’t support it, they then admitted they didn’t but didn’t want to be ridiculed for it.

The crazy support for transgenders has escalated those who are willing to inflict violence on others. The increased attention has some very nasty effects that is Biblical. It’ll get a lot worse. This is why I most likely got banned from Facebook. Its because I finally hit a nerve with these people. They think that I’m helping the violence. But they’re wrong. I’m trying to stop that. Transgenders are mentally ill, they need their way of thinking corrected because gender dysphoria is all in the mind. Yet they can’t see it.

So the end result will be a bloodbath. These people can’t listen to reason and understand there is a growing movement festering in the shadows and its only a matter of time before it becomes the point of no return.

The only way these people can be saved is if they repent and detransition. This is a warning, a prelude for worse times to come. Many people have already died and it’s not going to get any better.

Facebook has become a nazi social site banning the freedom of speech against transgenderism and people should have shut down the LGBt before it had a chance to start

Edit addition: Also I just saw on the news. Democrats most pressing issue: transgender equality. Oh God. We have so much corruption and greed in this country this is what the dems talk about. Please God we really need saving!

 

So on one of my pages on Facebook is being targeted by LGBT fanatics. The way I think it works is if enough people report a post they get Facebook to respond. Well the guys at Facebook can’t deal with the truth.

One of the main ones is that they dont like it when people say “transgenderism is a mental disorder”. It IS a mental disorder. When people ask if your a doctor its basically telling you that if your mechanic told you your tires are wood and others start saying the same thing but you know the tires are rubber yet you got a group of people telling you it’s not rubber.

This is what we are dealing with here,  men claiming to be women and vise versa. Before I continue I think we need a moment of prayer here. I’m not one to do it all the time but at this point it’s all we can do here. And we definitely need it.

“Dear God, please help our sick world that is so far deep into corruption and misinformation that we need your guidance to fix and rectify. We have so much theft, anger, hatred, deception and corrupt people in this world that is affecting others lives. Right now we have people advocating the acceptance of males switching to females. The professionals are not doing the right thing and treating it as a mental illness but instead using this opportunity to deceive others. This is not right. Please help us fix our world.”

Ok we got that out of the way. The truth is that this is our world. And we’re taking poor care of the people in it. Too much selfishness that is going unchecked and no control over it.

Transgenderism is a mental illness no matter what the professionals.

Eating disorders, delusions, obsession compulsive, are examples of mental illness. Transgender is a delusion. These people look in the mirror in their birthday suit and think that it’s wrong. Except the fact it’s not wrong. If you got a brain, two arms, two hands, two legs and two feet and everything is in place you are not wrong. If you are born female you’ll be a woman, a male as a man.

Its really that simple, transgenders and professionals are making this more complicated than it actually is. Maybe its because with almost 8 billion people on the planet people are confused on what sex or gender they really are.

Its unfortunate that these people can’t accept the truth. I get that sites generally control what content shouldn’t be shown but if you want to take away the freedom of speech from those that do not accept transgenders then there shouldn’t be posts of transgenders either. It goes both ways and if we cant show these people that transgenderism is wrong and give people the ability to do that then it becomes an agenda. Your choosing to silence those who do not accept and do not want to see the world become dysfunctional.

At the same time being silenced in social media could then lead to violent behavior. My page was suspended. It may even be deleted because some people refuse to hear the truth. Now I tolerate a lot of things.  But I lost it when my brother decided to go transgender and be a woman. It wouldn’t have mattered if we accepted him, other people dragged him down, sexually/physically abused him and if I happened to be there I would have gotten dragged into fights. And I’m not a physical fighter. I probably would have ended up in the hospital with him.  This is exactly one of the problems with being transgender. I have already mentioned that transgenders are a target for violence and murder.  With Facebook suspending and banning accounts where do you think some people will turn next?

Stopping the freedom to share why transgender is wrong isnt going to stop people from doing things more drastic. I’m not a violent person but I took my frustration and placed it here. Trying to educate people that this is wrong. I did not write anything vulgar or anything. Transgenders think they are a minority like black or Asian but they’re not. You dont get to pick your skin color any more than you can change sex but people want to do it anyway like their bodies are like an inanimate object they can alter.

Sadly this transgender thing is so far out of control that it most likely will lead to worse violence. And you can’t stop people from thinking a certain way because this is far from being natural. Our bodies are not designed to be altered. Once you lose an arm or whatever it wont grow back. If you get shot or beaten to death you won’t come back. My brother committed suicide because he couldn’t deal with all the sex abuse and violent trauma. No one really can especially if you are already mentally ill. Transgenders are mentally unstable already, this leads to suicide because a few bad things happen to them they think the world will come to an end.

We really need to fix these people so their mind matches up with the body they were given to at birth. Because you can’t make a male into a woman. Its not possible other than surface changes and that is not the way to do things. It wont matter because in the end that “woman” will forever be male no matter the drugs, surgeries or clothes that they wear its impossible. Males and females are different. They were designed to be different. When you try to change that you change who you were meant to be.  Again.. this world needs prayers and a lot of work to do. This fight to correct transgenders to be their correct gender and not what they want to be, we’re starting to lose. We may be at that point in time where the system has to collapse in order to rectify this problem because an end of the world situation, only the strong will survive. I hate to see it end like that but I think I’ll witness the impending apocalypse when I’m looking for my dentures in a retirement home.

Also to reiterate, transgender is a deception. The act in which a male or female presents themselves as the opposite sex/gender is the very definition of deception. It doesn’t matter if its intentional or not it just IS deceptive. There is no way around that when you decided to swap genders/sex. If you dont like it, then be a proper person and don’t become transgender. If you dont like being the target of violence then dont be transgender. There is a lot of pain and grief when you are transgender and by silencing people like me on places like Facebook you are silencing a warning that being a transgender leads to constant rejection, pain and suffering. You will have problems finding a mate, job and many people do not like you whether they show it or not. With me, I dont support or like people switching genders/sex. I think its selfish, rude, disrespectful. It is wrong and goes against God. You dont respect your body, God or others. Transgenderism is selfish and you care more about yourself than others. I know it’s a mental disorder, but this isnt like eating yourself to death. People can’t control their eating disorder but if you have the sense to organize so much centering your life of being the wrong sex/gender you have the ability to learn and understand right from wrong. Some may cant control it like my brother who had a severe mental problem but I think many transgenders know that it’s wrong but they dont care because they choose to live selfishly.

Edit: So I dont think shes interested in me.. (actually she may be interested.. shes just really scared)

Edit: I get the feeling she might be interested but is really scared. I got crazy waves of affection. She may really like me but either doesn’t know how I feel or doesn’t know how to handle it. The guys at work are usually talking about women sexually and maybe shes not that type of girl for a 1 night fling. I’m overthinking this but when you’re hit by consistent waves of feelings and a throbbing headache you cant help but wonder. So ill take it easy and when shes ready I’ll be waiting for her.

Original post:

I managed to find out my crush’s name which I wont mention for privacy but it seems she’s not very interested because soon as she mentioned her name she ran off to go talk to this other guy.

Now there can be other reasons why she did this but the fact she did may be because shes interested in this other guy which I will respect. And while talking to a couple of my co workers they seem to think we’d make a great couple but I mentioned yeah that would be nice if she didn’t seem frightened or not interested so I told them that I want to take it easy and just say hello in the morning.

Of course I’ve been getting headaches and a sense there was a connection between us so I figured there was something. The problem and this goes back to being forgiven was the fact I kept avoiding her. Early on when i first met her there was an instant connection. I just ignored it. Yes shes also very attractive but I didn’t notice it until I kept bumping into her. She seemed to be interested because she would seemingly search for me and I just didn’t see it until it was too late. Then I ignored her for several weeks then that’s when I gained an interest in her.

But it’s been a struggle ever since. And this last attempt just showed me that it’ll be easier just to say hello. Pushing it will only push her further way and eventually be the runner. So I’m just going to leave it be. Co workers think we would be a good couple so there is hope there. I just dont want to stress over it anymore.

Maybe one day she’ll open herself up to me or maybe those co workers will find a way. Until then I’m not going to run anymore. I also have to stop worrying and overthinking this. All I can do is wait for her. If not, well soulmates are like 1 in a million and considering the fact I felt an instant connection, really strong vibes and headaches (actually that’s a very good sign according to one of my blogger friend) I think if she left my life.. i may never find someone as amazing as her and she is very amazing. But I dont know how to get her into some sort of relationship. We barely talk. I know shes great looking and has a nice car and shes really nice. And I just know she is amazing due to the strong unspoken bond I have with her. I can talk to other women and while they may be very attractive there is no bond. No this is the first woman I met where I feel complete with her.

The problem is how to break the silence of a perfect relationship. Maybe she feels it too and is scared. Prayers for both of us that we can become closer together.