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Edit: I got my answer pretty much. It seems she’ll avoid me throughout the day now and it’s pretty apparent she never had an interest in me. Somehow she thought I was or something. I really didn’t want to have this happen again, I don’t even try to.. but now I gotta find a way to move on…

The last woman I was interested in ended in a bad way. Feeling rejected I told myself to never get involved with anyone ever again, especially a co worker, hence my previous post was centered around a co worker who seemed to have the hots for me.

Well soon after I wrote that post I became interested. Its unclear if she is still interested or even ever was, it could have been me subconsciously trying to make it seem like she was, but maybe it’s just me interested and she’s probably just wondering why I don’t really talk like what most of the other men do there.

The biggest hurdle for me right now is the fear of being rejected again. I didn’t take it too well the last time and it’s really not fun to have to deal with it with having to see the person at work after they rejected you. So now history is repeating itself and now I have been stupid enough to get too involved where I should have been more firm with my rule, don’t date a co worker. That includes talking to them possibly sparking an infatuation with them.

I don’t know this woman’s name but I find her attractive which doesn’t help and I have been avoiding the idea of sparking a social encounter but every morning I work, I’ve been saying hi and smiling to her hoping that she’ll make the first move. It probably won’t work causing her to move on and possibly making things way too awkward and I’ll end up spiraling down even further by never getting involved with a woman.

But at the same time she seems like the type to want kids or already has one and that’s another problem, I don’t want kids. Mainly I don’t want to bring someone into this world because of all the hate, corruption, greed and high cost of living. I’m ok with adopting when I’m financially well. The fact im barely holding it together financially trying to get a new car, a 2019 or 2020 Dodge Challenger and I’ll most likely end up with the V6 3.6L version. Which is fine because I don’t need the Hemi V8 or the 800hp Dodge Demon until I’m retired anyway.

Back to this woman I’m just not sure if it’s a good idea to get involved mainly due to kids. Of course I haven’t even really talked to her because I’m too mentally unstable to deal with another rejection case. It would actually be worse if I started talking to her because I would be more likely to have an emotional bond with her and if things go south, I’ll end up with a worse psyche than I already got and with women, I’m already fractured to the point of no return. So while I’m flirting with this danger I think that if she is one of those women who will approach me it’ll be less painful, but if she forces me to try which i am trying little by little it’s already leading to problems. Other then the morning I have had no luck in trying to bump into her making it seem like this isn’t going to work.

And believe me for the most part i haven’t cared. It was until she started saying morning is when I started getting interested but anywhere else I seen her it was always stupid glances or stares. So while every morning we can say our hello, that’s about as far as I’m willing to take it unless something happens or she decides to approach me it’s unlikely we’ll even be work friends. I’m at least interested in that but if I do too much work to try to talk to her it’ll never work out because I would get too obsessed over her and right now I’m just sort of rattled but if she left today I’d be able to move on easy but most likely avoid any other interaction with other women. If she can’t help me no one else will be capable of handling the task because I’ll be putting my foot down declaring I won’t ever get involved with any woman, even if she makes very signal in the world to get me involved.

I’m just in terrible shape and getting rattled over her without even knowing her shows how bad my mental state is with women really is. I’m not ready for a relationship or dating and I’m not sure if I’m capable of a female work friend yet. Hopefully she understands it’s going to take time for me to work through this and all I can do is take it one step at a time, try to deal with day to day, not the future. If it doesn’t work out it’s more of a reason for me not to get involved with someone. We’ll see but I’m not getting my hopes up with this woman. I am not ready to go through another rejection and already it seems like she may have started to give up but for now the mornings are working well.

The best part is im working in the nearby plant so I can at least focus on trying to make myself more comfortable around her and she may feel comfortable enough to have a brief conversation if she’s really that interested. Doesn’t help that there are other women that the guys have been trying to get me to talk to awhile back but since i won’t be there for several days it might be easier to interact with her throughout the day later on.. but it’ll be difficult because these other two women are constantly around one of them keeps staring in my general location and that just is way uncomfortable and I’m trying to focus on the one i lije who looks more my age. I’m 39 and these other woman must be in their 20s. Either way I don’t have any interest in them even if the one i like doesn’t work out.

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It was finally revealed that the Las Vegas shooting was most likely due to anti-anxiety drugs.

https://www.reviewjournal.com/local/the-strip/las-vegas-strip-shooter-prescribed-anti-anxiety-drug-in-june/

Surprised? I’m not, as the shooters mental health was in question from the start. No one with any sense of right and wrong would consider firing onto a crowd of innocent victims. At least no one with the understanding of right and wrong. However medication can cause undesired effects and it seems that this guy was suffering from anxiety. Clearly something snapped to make this guy to obtain guns and to shoot them into a crowd full of people because he may have been under the influence of drugs. Now even though the drugs were prescribed a few months ago, it may have been his mind has been altered by the drugs.

This goes back to how our mental health is and how it has gone unchecked. Most people may get through life without a major mental breakdown but others should be looked closely.

I have dealt with anxiety, depression and stress. Practically to the point of a mental breakdown. I overcame it and I never thought about inflicting violence on others. A few times I was dealing with very uncomfortable thoughts but never to the extent of planning to do something. I had to stop myself from thinking about negative thoughts and try to focus on something else. I’m grateful it has never escalated beyond any serious negative impact.

However some others are not as lucky and if this anti-anxiety pills cause aggression there either needs to be a smaller dose or close monitoring of the patient so that way if the problem does escalate into violence it could be stopped to avoid any serious injury to anyone. And this LV tragedy could have been avoided not just by more gun control but better monitoring of the shooter so he could not obtain any weapons and to get help relieving the aggressive tendencies. To ignore this behavior is only going to lead towards another violent attack. Gun control might use some improvements but the greatest problem is the mental health state people are in and it also varies from person to person since certain problems could affect certain people differently.

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Not a day after the Las Vegas shooting we are already talking about gun control. Just like any other tragic shooting instead of mourning the loss of people, the major talk is gun control.

Not that gun control is a bad thing but the problem is that anytime we have a major shooting the topic of gun control takes over the media. Celebrities are not helping, instead of giving out condolences they are complaining about the 2nd amendment rights.

All the whole completely ignoring the mental health state in America. For anyone to obtain illegal weapons and to willingly harm and murder people for any reason is a mental illness. Even though murder may not be an actual mental illness according to experts the mental health in America needs major improvement. Mental health often goes unnoticed and it is partly due to the inefficiencies of our social structure.

When people are often only thinking of themselves and monetary interests are more important than the health of civilization the mental health of society is degraded. We could implement a much better health program, the best to our ability however that would also be costly, with our current social/monetary system implementing the best mental healthcare would raise taxes far more comfortable than what people are willing to do.

That doesn’t mean it can’t be done, even, $0.05 extra in taxes a year per taxpayer would help improve things. Certainly if we are on the same page celebrities would most likely donate money to our mental healthcare giving more people access to this necessary service. However were not even in the same book on the subject of gun violence. It’s easier to blame guns because it doesn’t cost anything to taxpayers to limit who can own a gun. At some point, gun control can only go so far and it doesn’t prevent some psychopath from finding some way of inflicting harm to others.

On a side note, when we are talking about mental health it has to do more than a simple mental health evaluation. We need to simply talk. We need to record experiences and above all we need to stop being in our own world and start listening to others. A lot of our mental health issues is mainly due to a forced reality of forcing many people to do uncomfortable and even degrading acts. A hundred people are forced to do things one person decided to do. The Illinois, Cook county soda tax for an example is largely rejected but because of a select few, it was implemented. As a result, many Cook county residents are shopping in other counties, affecting businesses who was against the soda tax are losing money.

The mental health needs major improvement, but so long as we keep blaming guns for gun violence when we have a mental health crisis won’t solve the violence problems. When gun control reaches it’s limits, if gun violence won’t be an issue, there will still be violence so long as we continue to ignore the mental health issues in America and around the world.

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It was unheard of that a child would be considered gay or transgender. Even now people still scoff at the idea of transgender children. However more articles are popping up that children as young as two identify as transgender.

https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/children-recognize-theyre-transgender-by-age-2-psychologist

The absurdity that a child is transgender at the age of two is unrealistic let alone thousands of children are transgender. Parents should be furious, I mean standing outside of these gender expert houses with signs up saying “Stop experimenting on children!!!” starting lawsuits on these experts when a transgender child commits suicide. The overwhelming blinded sheep acceptance from people who dont know their right from left that has to get advice on how to tie their own shoes are helping damage these childrens futures.

Now I know these people mean well.. but they are sadly misguided. Its a problem however that people will put 100% faith that experts are never wrong. The experts that say children young as two can be transgender are flat out wrong.

The biggest claim is that a child will think suicidal thoughts if they can’t transition. When transgenders and experts say this a big red flag goes up and you have to ask who are these kids that contemplate suicide?

The first thing that isnt right is that many transgender adults who recently transitioned claimed they felt transgender since they were 5 or somewhere during that time. So they didnt feel suicidal or even give out hints?

Now all of a sudden kids are being suicidal because they are not allowed to be transgender. How does that even make sense? Where is the logic in a 40 year old transgender who claims they felt that way since 4 and to claim transgender children as early as 2 are thinking of suicide because they are not allowed to transition.

Its all mind games. Kids are not transgender. Kids lack the experience and wisdom to make a proper decision. When kids are being taught about transgender people they will start to think, if someone else can switch genders why can’t they? This is where we are seeing a major increase of transgender children. And this is what the transgender community wants. Besides their obsession with destroying biology between a male and female they just do not care what other people want. They want to be seen as something they are not.

Often adults who identify as transgender will threaten suicide in order for them to get what they want. Similar to a child throwing a tantrum because they saw a toy they wanted but can’t get. People often will help a person who is suicidal. What a better way for these people who claim to be transgender to claim suicide so they can transition and be in society.  Even better to corrupt a child’s mind by telling them they can transition if they want.

Professionals need to stop experimenting on children!

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Note: Before i continue i’d like to remind people that this is post is not to hate on a minority, as it’s a perspective that needs to be addressed.

A while back i came across this article, No, I Don’t Have To Tell You I’m Trans Before Dating You

Apparently You’re ‘Deeply Transphobic’ If You Don’t Want To Sleep With A Trans Person

Uh… Re: No, I Don’t Have To Tell You I’m Trans Before Dating You (Part 2)
Yes, You Absolutely Need To Tell Someone You’re Trans Before Dating

The idea that some transgenders and people in general think you shouldn’t be concerned over who you are getting involved with is really disconcerting. While there are some counter articles saying you need to absolutely tell someone you’re trans, what can people do to ensure they are really dating who they think they are? This is among one of the reasons i reluctantly refuse to date. I don’t want to offend a biological woman by getting a background and a DNA check on them before dating them. It just sounds disrespectful to me and i don’t know whether or not they would but it would be uncomfortable. So to avoid that awkwardness i refuse dating all together. As a 38 year old who has been single most of my life that just seems to just be that way.

Transgender and transgenderism is a mental illness.

The argument that a male can become a woman and vise versa is illogical.  “Transgender”: A Word that Defies Reality
I’ve seen the future that transgender activists are fighting for… and it’s terrifying
Trans Activists Don’t Want Compassion. They Want Science Denial And Heresy

The insanity just doesn’t stop there..

Transgender Ladies ask your men if hed
The left has gone completely insane art this point regarding transgender

Seriously? A lot of ladies are going to be single in that case.

Professionals blindly support transitioning as a treatment for people with gender dysphoria.

I don’t completely disregard the idea that people have gender dysphoria, but using transitioning as a treatment is just not a viable course of action. There are other alternatives but it won’t work if people do not seek them. Not saying that therapy conversion is the only answer but people like Kenneth Zucker are shut down because transgender activists do not want people with gender dysphoria to be ‘cured’ or as they like to say, ‘brainwashed’.

Laverne Cox speaks out against people who don’t see transgender women as real women

But, she said, “when we say that transgender women aren’t women, that is a way to discriminate against us.

“That is a way that folks use to deny us access and deny us healthcare and jobs, and it’s a reason that people perpetrate violence against us.”

That isn’t a legitimate reason to say that transgender women are women. If you are transgender you are discriminated regardless if you are called a woman or a fake woman. Covering up the fact that you are in fact male is deceptive, doesn’t matter if you intended it or not you are misleading people to think you are female when in fact you are male, you have male DNA and genitalia, therefore saying you are a woman is a deception. Transgender activists like to abuse the word of gender, the idea behind it that gender is a social construct and is not inherent to sex, regardless that gender has been inherent to sex. It has been followed by generations and because the 0.001% of individuals did not follow these guidelines does not make it the absolute truth that gender is separated from sex.

Male=Man
Female=Woman

That is the absolute that has existed since the invention of the word gender. Our society is built on that and the transgender activism is attempting to dismantle everything regarding what civilization considers gender to be. So is a transgender woman a woman? No, they are transgender. It is real easy for a person who has a mental illness to say transgender women are in fact women. That’s just the way it is though, you can’t change biology. You can try to alter it and make it appear that you can but in essence, if you are born male you will die a male.

Transgenders as we know it are violent, prostitutes and a hazard to society.

The first incarnation of transgender i have heard of back in the 80’s they were often violent.. most of the time the news articles referred them to as “a male dressed in woman’s clothing and makeup committed murder” and you heard it often a couple of times a year generally forgetting that it ever happened. I know there are a lot of psychopaths out there and it was one of those things where it was like “wow that guy is mentally ill, dressed as a woman and killed two kids”.

Media Silent About Massacre Committed By “Transgender Woman” Who Hated All Men

It only seems fair that now they are often being quiet in crimes being committed by transgenders. Transgender activists want people to think that they are the victims by claiming they are the ones being attacked. Well which is true, but it’s the only thing the media reports regarding transgender violence is that the transgenders are the victims. Bat-wielding man hurls threats, hate at transgender Bronx couple Of course no one deserves to be attacked no matter if they are in the wrong, but i am going to say that it’s that way. Transgenders are being attacked left and right for being transgender. They are being deceptive by calling themselves women, posing as female.

“Do you feel good about deceiving people?”

The gang called the two “f—–s” and “Transformers,” according to police.

That is a regular thing, especially in social media. But in order to dig up dirt on transgenders, it’s a challenge considering the fact the media is more concerned with giving transgenders the spot light instead of showing what is actually going on.

Transgender conditioning in children is child abuse.

LGBT community celebrates 8-year-old drag queen. Critics call it child abuse

Are you freaking serious!? Another article that grinds my gears is that people are actually celebrating an 8 year old drag queen. Now, drag queens are another story that well.. seems to be festered with sex symbolism and a part of transgenderism came from drag queens. But, if people are going to be enraged over this they should also be enraged over the idea of transgender kids. WTF!? Allowing a three-year-old to be transgender is insane

Prominent Feminist Claims Puberty Blockers For Transgender Kids Are “Criminal”

At least some people are upset that kids are being given puberty blockers and even allowing children to be transgender in the first place. If we are going to try to stop this, we will have to make transitioning illegal, at least with children for now. Children do not need to be exposed to transgenderism. It is child abuse..

Transgenderism is unhealthy and should not be encouraged.

Being transgender in America may be hazardous to your health, study shows

Being transgender is a hazard, dangerous and it is recommended to stay as far from the ideology as much as possible. It is time to fight back here. Otherwise more victims will be at the hands of the transgender activism. More violent attacks, verbal attacks which leads to suicide. Transgenders are mentally ill, that is the truth here. They need protection from themselves and others. Professionals need to be more helpful instead of promoting transgenderism in both children and adults. They are not helping the situation any and it continues in this downward spiral.

The madness isn’t ending.  These people are not thinking logically and it’s ending up being a war between whether transgenders should exist or not. A literal social and civil war. It shouldn’t come to this, having to write article such as this to try convincing people that being transgender is simply wrong. It’s illogical, counterproductive and it doesn’t help in the long run. When we have things like this happening, Transgender “girl” track star with mustache crushes female competitors
This Doctoral Student Identifies As A Hippopotamus ‘Tranimal,’ Says It Makes Him Feel ‘Sexy’

Transgender insanity has gone too far and for far too long, Barbara Kay: Transgendered advocacy has gone too far

We live in a Godless society. Blind transgender acceptance is a symptom of societal collapse.

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….Having Pets Instead Of Kids Should Be Considered A Psychiatric Disorder

I don’t agree. My last post on this subject, Overpopulation crisis, is not having kids selfish? still holds true for me. Matt Walsh also did a blog on this, We couldn’t afford to have kids yet that still doesn’t change my thoughts on this subject. Life is too stressful to really have an urge to want children. I struggle with anxiety with the smallest of problems. Just the idea of me having children is too overwhelming. Everyone else that doesn’t want children probably go through the same thought process as me or thinking a similar thing for a different reason. Such as the finances. Having a child is by no means cheap, one child is more expensive then buying a $500,000 home. While more than likely you’ll be married with someone else so you will have additional support with family as well there is no telling what will occur. So i will list some reasons i don’t want to have children.

    1. I already deal with too much stress. I need to reduce the stress in my life, not add to it. You can see some of my previous posts on how stress overwhelms me and i get anxiety when it gets to a certain level. While i tend to only look at the negative, it’s just something that i have to deal with and the best way to deal with it is to avoid negative or stressful situations. If i get too much anxiety i can get a nervous breakdown and then i’ll be in trouble. I don’t deal with life situations the way everyone else does, if something is stressing me out i need to leave it!
    2. I’m not a people person. I do like talking and socializing to people from time to time, but as an introvert i need time to myself. Having kids, i would be around people all the time and i really can’t do that.
    3. I don’t want kids… because someone says i should have them or think i am more than capable of handling them. Such as the people in this article you don’t know my life situations, nor do you know what i can or can’t handle. I can’t handle a whole lot. It becomes too much. Sorry, just because you think i could handle having kids doesn’t mean i should have kids. At this point in time i won’t regret not having them and i don’t think i’ll regret having them in the future. I do not want the responsibility of caring for children.
    4. The world is in constant chaos. Think Chicago shootings, Google that and get back to me. That’s just a sliver of the problems in this world. The president of the United States, Donald Trump has sparked outrage and this seems like a clear indication of a 2nd Civil War if people do not calm themselves.
    5. Plenty of others have the urge… to reproduce. No seriously, there’s people who have more than 8 children. The world has plenty of people in this world. No, seriously it’s not a big deal if i don’t have kids. As much as some people may think we need to put more ethical, spiritual children on this planet there is always the opportunity to teach the ones that are already in this world for those willing to learn.

More people on this planet will not solve the worlds problems. We need to put the right people in charge to fix the problems. Anyone can become a doctor, a scientist, a lawyer or a politician but it takes a person of special skills in those areas to get things done properly, if said person uses their powers for good. And some will step up to the plate. There are people in this world who already are capable of fixing the worlds problems. It’s whether or not they know it yet. And if i ever do decide to have kids, i’ll adopt. Not that it will happen or that i will ever be ready for it, it’s just that would be the next logical step. I believe we need to help others already in this world, not bring more people into this world. And who knows, maybe i do have a mental disorder. It certainly isn’t because i don’t want children but because i get stressed out over little things.

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I definitely need a reboot here. I’m getting some of the classic signs, i copied some of the stuff from the link below,

Health problems caused or exacerbated by stress include
Depression and anxiety
Sleep problems
Pain of any kind
Skin conditions, such as eczema

Signs and symptoms of stress overload
Memory problems
Inability to concentrate
Poor judgment
Seeing only the negative
Anxious or racing thoughts
Constant worrying
Anxiety and agitation
Moodiness, irritability, or anger
Feeling overwhelmed
Sleeping too much or too little
Withdrawing from others
Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities
Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing)

How much stress is too much?
Because of the widespread damage stress can cause, it’s important to know your own limit. But just how much stress is “too much” differs from person to person. Some people seem to be able to roll with life’s punches, while others tend to crumble in the face of small obstacles or frustrations. Some people even thrive on the excitement of a high-stress lifestyle.

Stress Symptoms, Signs, and Causes

I tend to fall in the crumbling in the face of small obstacles and frustration.

Today i didn’t really want to do much of anything, sure earlier today (or yesterday) i wrote something but among some of the symptoms, i sleep too much. Didn’t really want to do anything, but of course did some shopping at least. Some of it is exhaustion from work but sleeping around 4 hours today? Yeah, it is stress because procrastination and withdrawing from others are some of the others. I don’t think i ever fully recovered from my previous job which was a stress storm of anxiety. I definitely need a reboot and i’m not exactly sure how i’m going to accomplish this. I already am in the process of buying a home and i’m just wondering.. since today was supposed to be my home inspection but now is delayed until Friday i’m just wondering if i’m still able to back out.. but i don’t think i really want to or could really because i do need to get a home closer to work.

It’s really not clear what is causing my stress to be so overwhelming. Sure getting a new home is stressful and my current job is somewhat stressful at times and my father annoys me to no end (hence the previous 2 blog posts). I eat pretty much ok as i have been getting meals from my stepmom and they are pretty healthy stuff, but maybe i could exercise a bit more, although the area i am at now isn’t exactly a good place to go out and walk or ride my bike around. I do get exercise at work. I do struggle with friendships i’m not exactly sure what it is but i can never stay connected with friends for very long and i do tend to isolate myself from people, especially in recent years.

Again i don’t think i fully recovered and maybe taking some time off will do me some good when i get my new place (that’s if i get it, with all these roadblocks in the way). I can’t really be doing this all the time though, when i am off work i am usually just watching tv, which is much better than sleeping.. but on my days off, i generally sleep 2-4 hours during the day which shows i do have a stress/anxiety problem. I definitely need a reboot as i don’t want to continue having to do this on the regular basis. If i need 2-4 hours of sleep every once in awhile it’s no big deal but since this is a regular occurrence i really need something..  while music does help, it only helps to a certain extent and i need to know what will work for me. I really need to figure this out…

I would like to add that this sleeping problem has been an issue since working at my previous job. When i would get 3 days off i would sleep a lot and more than often i would sleep when i wasn’t working. Probably around 12 hours a day (that includes the normal 8 hours). Much of my stress and anxiety happened during my previous job, lack of income and i am thinking that problem hasn’t been entirely gone away or out of force of habit i tend to sleep, although generally if i take a nap it’s because i get tired. Again it’s unclear if it’s a habit or that i am still struggling with stress and anxiety. Of course the stress of buying a new home is there, but since i am nearly done with this only thing that is left is the home inspection and the appraisal, but there is a slight chance i won’t get the home.. which would actually add stress considering now i have to do the process over again of finding a home.. at this point i just want it to be over and done with. Once i get the home the stress levels should go down. I can only hope that it does…

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