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Edit: I got my answer pretty much. It seems she’ll avoid me throughout the day now and it’s pretty apparent she never had an interest in me. Somehow she thought I was or something. I really didn’t want to have this happen again, I don’t even try to.. but now I gotta find a way to move on…

The last woman I was interested in ended in a bad way. Feeling rejected I told myself to never get involved with anyone ever again, especially a co worker, hence my previous post was centered around a co worker who seemed to have the hots for me.

Well soon after I wrote that post I became interested. Its unclear if she is still interested or even ever was, it could have been me subconsciously trying to make it seem like she was, but maybe it’s just me interested and she’s probably just wondering why I don’t really talk like what most of the other men do there.

The biggest hurdle for me right now is the fear of being rejected again. I didn’t take it too well the last time and it’s really not fun to have to deal with it with having to see the person at work after they rejected you. So now history is repeating itself and now I have been stupid enough to get too involved where I should have been more firm with my rule, don’t date a co worker. That includes talking to them possibly sparking an infatuation with them.

I don’t know this woman’s name but I find her attractive which doesn’t help and I have been avoiding the idea of sparking a social encounter but every morning I work, I’ve been saying hi and smiling to her hoping that she’ll make the first move. It probably won’t work causing her to move on and possibly making things way too awkward and I’ll end up spiraling down even further by never getting involved with a woman.

But at the same time she seems like the type to want kids or already has one and that’s another problem, I don’t want kids. Mainly I don’t want to bring someone into this world because of all the hate, corruption, greed and high cost of living. I’m ok with adopting when I’m financially well. The fact im barely holding it together financially trying to get a new car, a 2019 or 2020 Dodge Challenger and I’ll most likely end up with the V6 3.6L version. Which is fine because I don’t need the Hemi V8 or the 800hp Dodge Demon until I’m retired anyway.

Back to this woman I’m just not sure if it’s a good idea to get involved mainly due to kids. Of course I haven’t even really talked to her because I’m too mentally unstable to deal with another rejection case. It would actually be worse if I started talking to her because I would be more likely to have an emotional bond with her and if things go south, I’ll end up with a worse psyche than I already got and with women, I’m already fractured to the point of no return. So while I’m flirting with this danger I think that if she is one of those women who will approach me it’ll be less painful, but if she forces me to try which i am trying little by little it’s already leading to problems. Other then the morning I have had no luck in trying to bump into her making it seem like this isn’t going to work.

And believe me for the most part i haven’t cared. It was until she started saying morning is when I started getting interested but anywhere else I seen her it was always stupid glances or stares. So while every morning we can say our hello, that’s about as far as I’m willing to take it unless something happens or she decides to approach me it’s unlikely we’ll even be work friends. I’m at least interested in that but if I do too much work to try to talk to her it’ll never work out because I would get too obsessed over her and right now I’m just sort of rattled but if she left today I’d be able to move on easy but most likely avoid any other interaction with other women. If she can’t help me no one else will be capable of handling the task because I’ll be putting my foot down declaring I won’t ever get involved with any woman, even if she makes very signal in the world to get me involved.

I’m just in terrible shape and getting rattled over her without even knowing her shows how bad my mental state is with women really is. I’m not ready for a relationship or dating and I’m not sure if I’m capable of a female work friend yet. Hopefully she understands it’s going to take time for me to work through this and all I can do is take it one step at a time, try to deal with day to day, not the future. If it doesn’t work out it’s more of a reason for me not to get involved with someone. We’ll see but I’m not getting my hopes up with this woman. I am not ready to go through another rejection and already it seems like she may have started to give up but for now the mornings are working well.

The best part is im working in the nearby plant so I can at least focus on trying to make myself more comfortable around her and she may feel comfortable enough to have a brief conversation if she’s really that interested. Doesn’t help that there are other women that the guys have been trying to get me to talk to awhile back but since i won’t be there for several days it might be easier to interact with her throughout the day later on.. but it’ll be difficult because these other two women are constantly around one of them keeps staring in my general location and that just is way uncomfortable and I’m trying to focus on the one i lije who looks more my age. I’m 39 and these other woman must be in their 20s. Either way I don’t have any interest in them even if the one i like doesn’t work out.

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It was finally revealed that the Las Vegas shooting was most likely due to anti-anxiety drugs.

https://www.reviewjournal.com/local/the-strip/las-vegas-strip-shooter-prescribed-anti-anxiety-drug-in-june/

Surprised? I’m not, as the shooters mental health was in question from the start. No one with any sense of right and wrong would consider firing onto a crowd of innocent victims. At least no one with the understanding of right and wrong. However medication can cause undesired effects and it seems that this guy was suffering from anxiety. Clearly something snapped to make this guy to obtain guns and to shoot them into a crowd full of people because he may have been under the influence of drugs. Now even though the drugs were prescribed a few months ago, it may have been his mind has been altered by the drugs.

This goes back to how our mental health is and how it has gone unchecked. Most people may get through life without a major mental breakdown but others should be looked closely.

I have dealt with anxiety, depression and stress. Practically to the point of a mental breakdown. I overcame it and I never thought about inflicting violence on others. A few times I was dealing with very uncomfortable thoughts but never to the extent of planning to do something. I had to stop myself from thinking about negative thoughts and try to focus on something else. I’m grateful it has never escalated beyond any serious negative impact.

However some others are not as lucky and if this anti-anxiety pills cause aggression there either needs to be a smaller dose or close monitoring of the patient so that way if the problem does escalate into violence it could be stopped to avoid any serious injury to anyone. And this LV tragedy could have been avoided not just by more gun control but better monitoring of the shooter so he could not obtain any weapons and to get help relieving the aggressive tendencies. To ignore this behavior is only going to lead towards another violent attack. Gun control might use some improvements but the greatest problem is the mental health state people are in and it also varies from person to person since certain problems could affect certain people differently.

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Not a day after the Las Vegas shooting we are already talking about gun control. Just like any other tragic shooting instead of mourning the loss of people, the major talk is gun control.

Not that gun control is a bad thing but the problem is that anytime we have a major shooting the topic of gun control takes over the media. Celebrities are not helping, instead of giving out condolences they are complaining about the 2nd amendment rights.

All the whole completely ignoring the mental health state in America. For anyone to obtain illegal weapons and to willingly harm and murder people for any reason is a mental illness. Even though murder may not be an actual mental illness according to experts the mental health in America needs major improvement. Mental health often goes unnoticed and it is partly due to the inefficiencies of our social structure.

When people are often only thinking of themselves and monetary interests are more important than the health of civilization the mental health of society is degraded. We could implement a much better health program, the best to our ability however that would also be costly, with our current social/monetary system implementing the best mental healthcare would raise taxes far more comfortable than what people are willing to do.

That doesn’t mean it can’t be done, even, $0.05 extra in taxes a year per taxpayer would help improve things. Certainly if we are on the same page celebrities would most likely donate money to our mental healthcare giving more people access to this necessary service. However were not even in the same book on the subject of gun violence. It’s easier to blame guns because it doesn’t cost anything to taxpayers to limit who can own a gun. At some point, gun control can only go so far and it doesn’t prevent some psychopath from finding some way of inflicting harm to others.

On a side note, when we are talking about mental health it has to do more than a simple mental health evaluation. We need to simply talk. We need to record experiences and above all we need to stop being in our own world and start listening to others. A lot of our mental health issues is mainly due to a forced reality of forcing many people to do uncomfortable and even degrading acts. A hundred people are forced to do things one person decided to do. The Illinois, Cook county soda tax for an example is largely rejected but because of a select few, it was implemented. As a result, many Cook county residents are shopping in other counties, affecting businesses who was against the soda tax are losing money.

The mental health needs major improvement, but so long as we keep blaming guns for gun violence when we have a mental health crisis won’t solve the violence problems. When gun control reaches it’s limits, if gun violence won’t be an issue, there will still be violence so long as we continue to ignore the mental health issues in America and around the world.

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It was unheard of that a child would be considered gay or transgender. Even now people still scoff at the idea of transgender children. However more articles are popping up that children as young as two identify as transgender.

https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/children-recognize-theyre-transgender-by-age-2-psychologist

The absurdity that a child is transgender at the age of two is unrealistic let alone thousands of children are transgender. Parents should be furious, I mean standing outside of these gender expert houses with signs up saying “Stop experimenting on children!!!” starting lawsuits on these experts when a transgender child commits suicide. The overwhelming blinded sheep acceptance from people who dont know their right from left that has to get advice on how to tie their own shoes are helping damage these childrens futures.

Now I know these people mean well.. but they are sadly misguided. Its a problem however that people will put 100% faith that experts are never wrong. The experts that say children young as two can be transgender are flat out wrong.

The biggest claim is that a child will think suicidal thoughts if they can’t transition. When transgenders and experts say this a big red flag goes up and you have to ask who are these kids that contemplate suicide?

The first thing that isnt right is that many transgender adults who recently transitioned claimed they felt transgender since they were 5 or somewhere during that time. So they didnt feel suicidal or even give out hints?

Now all of a sudden kids are being suicidal because they are not allowed to be transgender. How does that even make sense? Where is the logic in a 40 year old transgender who claims they felt that way since 4 and to claim transgender children as early as 2 are thinking of suicide because they are not allowed to transition.

Its all mind games. Kids are not transgender. Kids lack the experience and wisdom to make a proper decision. When kids are being taught about transgender people they will start to think, if someone else can switch genders why can’t they? This is where we are seeing a major increase of transgender children. And this is what the transgender community wants. Besides their obsession with destroying biology between a male and female they just do not care what other people want. They want to be seen as something they are not.

Often adults who identify as transgender will threaten suicide in order for them to get what they want. Similar to a child throwing a tantrum because they saw a toy they wanted but can’t get. People often will help a person who is suicidal. What a better way for these people who claim to be transgender to claim suicide so they can transition and be in society.  Even better to corrupt a child’s mind by telling them they can transition if they want.

Professionals need to stop experimenting on children!

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Note: Before i continue i’d like to remind people that this is post is not to hate on a minority, as it’s a perspective that needs to be addressed.

A while back i came across this article, No, I Don’t Have To Tell You I’m Trans Before Dating You

Apparently You’re ‘Deeply Transphobic’ If You Don’t Want To Sleep With A Trans Person

Uh… Re: No, I Don’t Have To Tell You I’m Trans Before Dating You (Part 2)
Yes, You Absolutely Need To Tell Someone You’re Trans Before Dating

The idea that some transgenders and people in general think you shouldn’t be concerned over who you are getting involved with is really disconcerting. While there are some counter articles saying you need to absolutely tell someone you’re trans, what can people do to ensure they are really dating who they think they are? This is among one of the reasons i reluctantly refuse to date. I don’t want to offend a biological woman by getting a background and a DNA check on them before dating them. It just sounds disrespectful to me and i don’t know whether or not they would but it would be uncomfortable. So to avoid that awkwardness i refuse dating all together. As a 38 year old who has been single most of my life that just seems to just be that way.

Transgender and transgenderism is a mental illness.

The argument that a male can become a woman and vise versa is illogical.  “Transgender”: A Word that Defies Reality
I’ve seen the future that transgender activists are fighting for… and it’s terrifying
Trans Activists Don’t Want Compassion. They Want Science Denial And Heresy

The insanity just doesn’t stop there..

Transgender Ladies ask your men if hed
The left has gone completely insane art this point regarding transgender

Seriously? A lot of ladies are going to be single in that case.

Professionals blindly support transitioning as a treatment for people with gender dysphoria.

I don’t completely disregard the idea that people have gender dysphoria, but using transitioning as a treatment is just not a viable course of action. There are other alternatives but it won’t work if people do not seek them. Not saying that therapy conversion is the only answer but people like Kenneth Zucker are shut down because transgender activists do not want people with gender dysphoria to be ‘cured’ or as they like to say, ‘brainwashed’.

Laverne Cox speaks out against people who don’t see transgender women as real women

But, she said, “when we say that transgender women aren’t women, that is a way to discriminate against us.

“That is a way that folks use to deny us access and deny us healthcare and jobs, and it’s a reason that people perpetrate violence against us.”

That isn’t a legitimate reason to say that transgender women are women. If you are transgender you are discriminated regardless if you are called a woman or a fake woman. Covering up the fact that you are in fact male is deceptive, doesn’t matter if you intended it or not you are misleading people to think you are female when in fact you are male, you have male DNA and genitalia, therefore saying you are a woman is a deception. Transgender activists like to abuse the word of gender, the idea behind it that gender is a social construct and is not inherent to sex, regardless that gender has been inherent to sex. It has been followed by generations and because the 0.001% of individuals did not follow these guidelines does not make it the absolute truth that gender is separated from sex.

Male=Man
Female=Woman

That is the absolute that has existed since the invention of the word gender. Our society is built on that and the transgender activism is attempting to dismantle everything regarding what civilization considers gender to be. So is a transgender woman a woman? No, they are transgender. It is real easy for a person who has a mental illness to say transgender women are in fact women. That’s just the way it is though, you can’t change biology. You can try to alter it and make it appear that you can but in essence, if you are born male you will die a male.

Transgenders as we know it are violent, prostitutes and a hazard to society.

The first incarnation of transgender i have heard of back in the 80’s they were often violent.. most of the time the news articles referred them to as “a male dressed in woman’s clothing and makeup committed murder” and you heard it often a couple of times a year generally forgetting that it ever happened. I know there are a lot of psychopaths out there and it was one of those things where it was like “wow that guy is mentally ill, dressed as a woman and killed two kids”.

Media Silent About Massacre Committed By “Transgender Woman” Who Hated All Men

It only seems fair that now they are often being quiet in crimes being committed by transgenders. Transgender activists want people to think that they are the victims by claiming they are the ones being attacked. Well which is true, but it’s the only thing the media reports regarding transgender violence is that the transgenders are the victims. Bat-wielding man hurls threats, hate at transgender Bronx couple Of course no one deserves to be attacked no matter if they are in the wrong, but i am going to say that it’s that way. Transgenders are being attacked left and right for being transgender. They are being deceptive by calling themselves women, posing as female.

“Do you feel good about deceiving people?”

The gang called the two “f—–s” and “Transformers,” according to police.

That is a regular thing, especially in social media. But in order to dig up dirt on transgenders, it’s a challenge considering the fact the media is more concerned with giving transgenders the spot light instead of showing what is actually going on.

Transgender conditioning in children is child abuse.

LGBT community celebrates 8-year-old drag queen. Critics call it child abuse

Are you freaking serious!? Another article that grinds my gears is that people are actually celebrating an 8 year old drag queen. Now, drag queens are another story that well.. seems to be festered with sex symbolism and a part of transgenderism came from drag queens. But, if people are going to be enraged over this they should also be enraged over the idea of transgender kids. WTF!? Allowing a three-year-old to be transgender is insane

Prominent Feminist Claims Puberty Blockers For Transgender Kids Are “Criminal”

At least some people are upset that kids are being given puberty blockers and even allowing children to be transgender in the first place. If we are going to try to stop this, we will have to make transitioning illegal, at least with children for now. Children do not need to be exposed to transgenderism. It is child abuse..

Transgenderism is unhealthy and should not be encouraged.

Being transgender in America may be hazardous to your health, study shows

Being transgender is a hazard, dangerous and it is recommended to stay as far from the ideology as much as possible. It is time to fight back here. Otherwise more victims will be at the hands of the transgender activism. More violent attacks, verbal attacks which leads to suicide. Transgenders are mentally ill, that is the truth here. They need protection from themselves and others. Professionals need to be more helpful instead of promoting transgenderism in both children and adults. They are not helping the situation any and it continues in this downward spiral.

The madness isn’t ending.  These people are not thinking logically and it’s ending up being a war between whether transgenders should exist or not. A literal social and civil war. It shouldn’t come to this, having to write article such as this to try convincing people that being transgender is simply wrong. It’s illogical, counterproductive and it doesn’t help in the long run. When we have things like this happening, Transgender “girl” track star with mustache crushes female competitors
This Doctoral Student Identifies As A Hippopotamus ‘Tranimal,’ Says It Makes Him Feel ‘Sexy’

Transgender insanity has gone too far and for far too long, Barbara Kay: Transgendered advocacy has gone too far

We live in a Godless society. Blind transgender acceptance is a symptom of societal collapse.

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….Having Pets Instead Of Kids Should Be Considered A Psychiatric Disorder

I don’t agree. My last post on this subject, Overpopulation crisis, is not having kids selfish? still holds true for me. Matt Walsh also did a blog on this, We couldn’t afford to have kids yet that still doesn’t change my thoughts on this subject. Life is too stressful to really have an urge to want children. I struggle with anxiety with the smallest of problems. Just the idea of me having children is too overwhelming. Everyone else that doesn’t want children probably go through the same thought process as me or thinking a similar thing for a different reason. Such as the finances. Having a child is by no means cheap, one child is more expensive then buying a $500,000 home. While more than likely you’ll be married with someone else so you will have additional support with family as well there is no telling what will occur. So i will list some reasons i don’t want to have children.

    1. I already deal with too much stress. I need to reduce the stress in my life, not add to it. You can see some of my previous posts on how stress overwhelms me and i get anxiety when it gets to a certain level. While i tend to only look at the negative, it’s just something that i have to deal with and the best way to deal with it is to avoid negative or stressful situations. If i get too much anxiety i can get a nervous breakdown and then i’ll be in trouble. I don’t deal with life situations the way everyone else does, if something is stressing me out i need to leave it!
    2. I’m not a people person. I do like talking and socializing to people from time to time, but as an introvert i need time to myself. Having kids, i would be around people all the time and i really can’t do that.
    3. I don’t want kids… because someone says i should have them or think i am more than capable of handling them. Such as the people in this article you don’t know my life situations, nor do you know what i can or can’t handle. I can’t handle a whole lot. It becomes too much. Sorry, just because you think i could handle having kids doesn’t mean i should have kids. At this point in time i won’t regret not having them and i don’t think i’ll regret having them in the future. I do not want the responsibility of caring for children.
    4. The world is in constant chaos. Think Chicago shootings, Google that and get back to me. That’s just a sliver of the problems in this world. The president of the United States, Donald Trump has sparked outrage and this seems like a clear indication of a 2nd Civil War if people do not calm themselves.
    5. Plenty of others have the urge… to reproduce. No seriously, there’s people who have more than 8 children. The world has plenty of people in this world. No, seriously it’s not a big deal if i don’t have kids. As much as some people may think we need to put more ethical, spiritual children on this planet there is always the opportunity to teach the ones that are already in this world for those willing to learn.

More people on this planet will not solve the worlds problems. We need to put the right people in charge to fix the problems. Anyone can become a doctor, a scientist, a lawyer or a politician but it takes a person of special skills in those areas to get things done properly, if said person uses their powers for good. And some will step up to the plate. There are people in this world who already are capable of fixing the worlds problems. It’s whether or not they know it yet. And if i ever do decide to have kids, i’ll adopt. Not that it will happen or that i will ever be ready for it, it’s just that would be the next logical step. I believe we need to help others already in this world, not bring more people into this world. And who knows, maybe i do have a mental disorder. It certainly isn’t because i don’t want children but because i get stressed out over little things.

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I definitely need a reboot here. I’m getting some of the classic signs, i copied some of the stuff from the link below,

Health problems caused or exacerbated by stress include
Depression and anxiety
Sleep problems
Pain of any kind
Skin conditions, such as eczema

Signs and symptoms of stress overload
Memory problems
Inability to concentrate
Poor judgment
Seeing only the negative
Anxious or racing thoughts
Constant worrying
Anxiety and agitation
Moodiness, irritability, or anger
Feeling overwhelmed
Sleeping too much or too little
Withdrawing from others
Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities
Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing)

How much stress is too much?
Because of the widespread damage stress can cause, it’s important to know your own limit. But just how much stress is “too much” differs from person to person. Some people seem to be able to roll with life’s punches, while others tend to crumble in the face of small obstacles or frustrations. Some people even thrive on the excitement of a high-stress lifestyle.

Stress Symptoms, Signs, and Causes

I tend to fall in the crumbling in the face of small obstacles and frustration.

Today i didn’t really want to do much of anything, sure earlier today (or yesterday) i wrote something but among some of the symptoms, i sleep too much. Didn’t really want to do anything, but of course did some shopping at least. Some of it is exhaustion from work but sleeping around 4 hours today? Yeah, it is stress because procrastination and withdrawing from others are some of the others. I don’t think i ever fully recovered from my previous job which was a stress storm of anxiety. I definitely need a reboot and i’m not exactly sure how i’m going to accomplish this. I already am in the process of buying a home and i’m just wondering.. since today was supposed to be my home inspection but now is delayed until Friday i’m just wondering if i’m still able to back out.. but i don’t think i really want to or could really because i do need to get a home closer to work.

It’s really not clear what is causing my stress to be so overwhelming. Sure getting a new home is stressful and my current job is somewhat stressful at times and my father annoys me to no end (hence the previous 2 blog posts). I eat pretty much ok as i have been getting meals from my stepmom and they are pretty healthy stuff, but maybe i could exercise a bit more, although the area i am at now isn’t exactly a good place to go out and walk or ride my bike around. I do get exercise at work. I do struggle with friendships i’m not exactly sure what it is but i can never stay connected with friends for very long and i do tend to isolate myself from people, especially in recent years.

Again i don’t think i fully recovered and maybe taking some time off will do me some good when i get my new place (that’s if i get it, with all these roadblocks in the way). I can’t really be doing this all the time though, when i am off work i am usually just watching tv, which is much better than sleeping.. but on my days off, i generally sleep 2-4 hours during the day which shows i do have a stress/anxiety problem. I definitely need a reboot as i don’t want to continue having to do this on the regular basis. If i need 2-4 hours of sleep every once in awhile it’s no big deal but since this is a regular occurrence i really need something..  while music does help, it only helps to a certain extent and i need to know what will work for me. I really need to figure this out…

I would like to add that this sleeping problem has been an issue since working at my previous job. When i would get 3 days off i would sleep a lot and more than often i would sleep when i wasn’t working. Probably around 12 hours a day (that includes the normal 8 hours). Much of my stress and anxiety happened during my previous job, lack of income and i am thinking that problem hasn’t been entirely gone away or out of force of habit i tend to sleep, although generally if i take a nap it’s because i get tired. Again it’s unclear if it’s a habit or that i am still struggling with stress and anxiety. Of course the stress of buying a new home is there, but since i am nearly done with this only thing that is left is the home inspection and the appraisal, but there is a slight chance i won’t get the home.. which would actually add stress considering now i have to do the process over again of finding a home.. at this point i just want it to be over and done with. Once i get the home the stress levels should go down. I can only hope that it does…

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This is sort of a continuation of the previous article of how some people can create unnecessary problems in their life. One of the biggest reasons you may have problems is that you take on too much that you can really handle. While people may say, God does not give you any more problems than what you can handle, it’s more than likely that these people do not really take on more than they can really handle and only you can really know that. No one else can. Only i can know how much i can handle and this is where we tend to cap ourselves with lesser activities. It’s like the people who are constantly in a rush in heavy traffic. They take on more than what they can really handle and they are always late. It doesn’t even matter if you are rushing or not you will still make it to your destination at the same time. Rushing does nothing other than getting you to work a minute faster and more than likely you’ll be stuck in traffic like the rest of us. Leave earlier and you won’t have either issue.

This is where we end up having unnecessary problems in life. Other reason you may be having problems is you are treating others badly. My father tends to get angry at people and then directs his anger at those people who may or may not have gotten him angry but irregardless, most of the time these people mean well.

Take Carmax for an example, instead of making a formal complaint to the company when he got a problem vehicle that they did not fix, he just blames Carmax and then tells people never to go there. Well that doesn’t really do anything other than hurt everyone working there that may or may not be the actual problem. The company has to suffer because of some bad employees who didn’t follow the company guidelines. If you were sold a car that had some engine or mechanical failures, of course this goes back onto the place you bought it from but by making a formal complaint to the company, they will generally make these changes. If they don’t then the company will then falter. But it’s not really our place to say a company is horrible just because you had a bad experience. If others had a bad experience it’ll be because there is a problem with the company.

Target for an example, had mentioned they open their doors to transgenders and they are allowed to use the bathroom they identify as. A lot of people got angry, hurt Target’s bottom line. If it was just one or two people and they were continually trying to get people to stop going there then that would be an issue. And with a good company, generally you will have anywhere from 1-10% of consumer issues. Really should not hurt the underlying companies reputation especially when all you had to do was make a formal complaint to the company and they could rectify the problem by doing an investigation and either clear up the matter or if an employee is a problem they can either write up a warning or they will be let go depending on the circumstances. Sure it would hurt that employee from having a job but at the same time they were not following the companies guidelines.

In an essence what you do affects other people and often times that can come back on you as Karma. Are we as Christians automatically forgiven for sins such as these? Well, sure but if you are doing it constantly especially with certain people then yes, it’ll come back to you no matter what because you have not learned a lesson here. We are forgiven, but at the same time have to learn from our mistakes. So the next time you get yelled at work, got cut off by someone.. just make sure you are not doing anything to provoke it. It could be Karma getting the best of you. It’s better to be nice and respect everyone because you will get that in return. It is never a good thing to tell someone that life is full of trouble either because then you are also creating unnecessary trouble on those people, if people think life is trouble then they will constantly run into problems.

And this is what i am dealing with because people like my father cannot keep it simple. Life is too short to be constantly worried, stressed out, angry, depressed or whatever it is. Life should not be trouble, life should not be filled with pain, anger and hate. Yet it is, but we have to find ways to shield ourselves from all of that because we have to deal with situations with the least amount of problems associated with it. I certainly do not and cannot deal with problems as they arise unless it’s the only thing i am really focused on. If i got 100 diff problems they are going to be overwhelming because i simply can’t deal with every one of them at once. One thing at a time.

And i really do need a vacation after i get my new home. My realtor just told me my home inspection can’t work because the utilities are not on. So basically i took a day off for nothing.. but at least i have a day off. Do some shopping and talk to my insurance company (hopefully) but if not at least i got a moment of reprieve because i so desperately need it.

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I am that sort of person who does not like dealing with unnecessary stress. In fact i can’t deal with stress period. And already i am dealing with stress on the day to day basis. https://www.stress.org/stress-effects/ 

Already i have some of the symptoms of stress one of them is that i am too tired to deal with daily activities. While i don’t think i am dealing with depression i do sleep often which is related to stress. Now i am struggling with basic tasks like organizing or being able to do activities. I have had this problem for quite awhile so it may be possible that some of my stress symptoms are due to bad habits from being stressed.

However this past month and especially past week i got hit hard with some stressors. It is mostly buying a new home which is actually exciting but also stressful at the same time. Attempting to get the home buying process over and done with isn’t going quick enough, which is fine, because my bank is loaning quite a bit of money and there is stuff in between that has to be dealt with. The very fact that this process is stressful, i rely on other things in life to take it easy on me. However that is remained to be seen.

My father has the tendency to stress me out with 100 annoying questions that i wouldn’t dare to ask let alone, if you think there is no such thing as a stupid question.. let me introduce you to my father. Someone who constantly asks dumb questions such as what are you doing at work today (because i work with him) when he is the one that gives me the jobs, not myself. So now i gotta worry about this on the daily basis. But that wasn’t enough, i now all of a sudden have to take MORE RESPONSIBILITY at work by going to a class for a couple of hours a day. Ridiculous. I didn’t have to take this class, there is nothing to be gained by taking this class and it’s just unnecessary headaches and stress. Now again, i am the type of person who avoids stress and conflict so i am now having a bad time. The reason i left my other job was because of too much stress. I just bought a new home so that’s basically sealing the deal that i require this job or something within the pay capacity of my current job.

I really do regret taking on this job to working with my father and also regretting buying a new home but i had to do this for my cat and myself. I can’t be spending work nights at my parents and sleeping in my parents basement because that’s just going backwards. I want to move forward and live on my own. With my newfound job stress and having to deal with more responsibilities i am now open to finding a roommate (thankfully i bought 2 bedrooms) or rather kinda forced to be open but at the very least i am the manager of the place so if the tenant doesn’t follow certain guidelines i can boot them out. Obviously i will give them some time to relocate, unless of course they are not paying their share of the bills or causing problems for me to the point where they need to be gone immediately. I’d probably search for people at churches as they would be more responsible then someone i’d find off the street or hear of someone in need of a place.

But, i didn’t get my new home just for kicks. I really thought about it and needed it, for my cat since i live further away from work from where i am now going to work. It won’t cost me $12 in gas, more like $5-7 on a daily basis. Anyway i also got it because it has a garage and currently my car is being used as a garage. An extra tire in the trunk, tools, car fluids. Basically i fix my own car with the stuff i need inside the car because living in my apartment 7 stories in the air is too far to keep the stuff inside my apartment. Plus i would forget things like oil and power steering fluid when i need it the most, it’s just easier and more effective to leave it in the car. With a garage though, i can do all the stuff right from there if i need to.

But at this point in time i can’t really deal with a whole lot and getting older, there are things i am just not worrying about and could care less about. I don’t really care about having a relationship with someone i don’t even want kids. And speaking of that it’s pretty selfish to say that someone that doesn’t want kids but will have a pet are mentally ill.

 Having Pets Instead Of Kids Should Be Considered A Psychiatric Disorder
We couldn’t afford to have kids

The absurdity of other people telling people like me that wanting pets over children is a mental illness and who cares if you can’t afford kids, God will provide. Which may be true to an extent. You will end up having to deal with money problems, wondering if next weeks paycheck will keep the food on the table and the roof over your families heads. There are some things that i have done that i wished i hadn’t. Spending my weekly paychecks on new cds and dvds every time i got paid i would go and buy some new cds or even a videogame or two. But at that time i was financially care free. Now i question every purchase i make and if i can’t come up with 5 good reasons why i need it i don’t buy it. If any reasons include, i need to live, i don’t need to come up with any other good reasons. And i like to think i’ve become a pro at managing my money fairly well but that’s only half the battle. It’s whether i can save that money, to put away and don’t touch until i need it for something like a car/home repair. Or perhaps buying a second vehicle, which i am looking at trucks which are not cheap these days. But a truck will be good for winter and they are built to move stuff.

Now, anyway back to kids, stress and anxiety. I automatically would have a major anxiety attack if i found out i have kids. Not that i do have any, but having kids is the biggest responsibility in the world today. Would my father say i could handle that, he would even though i absolutely cannot and would not. It is unnecessary stress, life itself is stressful. But we as humans decide what stressors we deal with. I am one that wants to limit the stress down to the bare minimum. I am that guy that would put the home thermostat at 50°F just to save money on the energy bill. Hey, that’s what we got long sleeve shirts for, just layer up and you’ll still be toasty warm. Maybe wear a hat and a scarf. It’s often used as a fashion statement nowadays. Why the need to spend money on something that you could keep warm with other means. They have these covers for windows to help keep the heat or cool air in. Windows are not very good insulators so there are other methods you can use, such as a blanket or it’s as easy as keeping the blinds closed during the summer and open during the winter times.

We’re not talking about energy savings though and i got a little carried away here but at any rate, sometimes i just want to scream at the sky asking God to stop giving me stressful situations because i don’t want it. I almost want to just take the money i do have and go live in the forest. All i’d have to worry about is getting food, shelter, heat, a way to keep cool and the rest of the time i’d be spending fishing or enjoying the great outdoors. Why does modern living have to include so much stress? Life is really too short to be stressed out all the time or even some of the time. It isn’t fun and stress is harmful to your body. And i believe i already hit anxiety levels which is when you are stressed to the max. I may have an anxiety disorder, i don’t know.. maybe perhaps i should see a doctor about that. According to this article,

If you identify with any of the following 7 signs and symptoms, and they just won’t go away, you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder:

Are you constantly tense, worried, or on edge?
Does your anxiety interfere with your work, school, or family responsibilities?
Are you plagued by fears that you know are irrational, but can’t shake?
Do you believe that something bad will happen if certain things aren’t done a certain way?
Do you avoid everyday situations or activities because they cause you anxiety?
Do you experience sudden, unexpected attacks of heart-pounding panic?
Do you feel like danger and catastrophe are around every corner?

Anxiety Disorders and Anxiety Attacks

I am only this way when i am stressed, i get tense, worried and on edge. I am plagued by fears and i often avoid situations or activities because they can cause anxiety. This mostly includes new things i am not familiar with. But again, these problems only occur if i am stressed out. If i get stressed out, anxiety soon follows and this week was a clear cut sign that i have been stressed to the point of anxiety levels. When i was driving home yesterday, i was venting my frustration and anger towards my father for signing up for things i am not comfortable handling. Soon after driving people were getting into a rush and this guy went around me when i moved to his lane. I was feeling road rage then. I wanted to tail this guy and honk at him but i did restrain myself from doing it but regardless i was still feeling the urge to road rage. It wasn’t just this guy but others and i had to try to calm myself down, i just wanted to get home.

I do see this as a clear cut sign that i just can’t handle dealing with stress. It’s better off that i don’t deal with it at all. I could have just spent $900+ a month on rent with money i will never see again or invest in a $1,200 a month home that i can get something out of it. Had i realized how difficult it was to obtain a home i probably would have just gotten an apartment. And that’s not even half the battle, i still have to do a home inspection and then be responsible for all the appliances there, if something goes wrong with one of them i may have to replace them if they can’t be repaired. However it turns out though, because it may be possible something will go awry and i won’t get the place, if that’s the case though i’ll be seriously disappointed because i already had gone through all this stress in order to get it and it was all for nothing but having to deal with apartment living longer. It could add or lessen the stress levels, but if i get the home i can get information on the year of all the appliances and go from there.

As i am typing this, it’s about 11am on Saturday, i was going to go grocery shopping to get a few things, but being stressed out i got lazy. I don’t think people realize what stress really does to me and i am thinking i may need help, thankfully if i get this new place there’s a church 20 minutes away with some help, hopefully with some prayers and what not that i can find some way of not being as stressed out or at the very least be able to convince my father than i cannot deal with these stresses that come up. I am also listening to some music so that is definitely calming me.

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Not another post on transgenders, and it’s not like that i try to find these, they usually find me.. which is a bit of a curse but it’s not like the major media outlets are not talking about transgenders either, mainly Donald Trump Junks Barack Obama’s Pro-Transgender PoliciesWhy did Trump’s government reverse transgender rights? about the transgender bathroom rights in schools Obama had in place but Trump removed them, it’s not a federal concern which Trump is right, this should be decided at the state level. And NC already is against the trans bathrooms, NC Economy Barely Impacted by Backlash to Transgender Bathroom.

As i have said in previous posts, The hatred for transgenders in America is continuing to skyrocketArguing with a transgender activist is futile, they don’t know right from wrongPushing transgender ideology does not work and has made things worse for transgenders,  It is a really bad time to identify as transgender, people do not support transgenders and it’ll keep getting worse

But, now we hear of a 2 year old transgender girl, ‘When will I get a vagina?’ How a two-year-old born as a boy knew she wanted to become a girl  The story is either fake or the parents responsible are insane. Literally, mentally insane! No two year old, that is 2, 24 months a child claims to be transgender. In case you don’t know..

Baby talk at 18 months. Babies at this age say several simple words and can point to people, objects, and body parts you name for them. They repeat words or sounds they hear you say, like the last word in a sentence. But they often leave off endings or beginnings of words. For example, they may say “daw” for “dog” or “noo-noo’s” for “noodles.”

Baby talk at 2 years. By age 2, babies string together a few words in short phrases of two to four words, such as “Mommy bye-bye” or “me milk.” They’re learning that words mean more than objects like “cup” — they also mean abstract ideas like “mine.”

Baby talk at 3 years. By the time your baby is age 3, his or her vocabulary expands rapidly, and “make-believe” play spurs an understanding of symbolic and abstract language like “now,” feelings like “sad,” and spatial concepts like “in.”

http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/baby-talk-your-babys-first-words

So where is this kid getting this info from? Even at age 3, they wouldn’t know much of anything about gender. As i said, there are only 2 possible reasons, it’s either a fake story (the transgender activism is often filled with false stories) or the parents wanted a girl so bad they decided to make him one. Gender confusion generally starts when the child starts playing with other kids of the same age range and often times a boy will identify as a girl because he likes what the girls are doing and vise versa with girls that exhibit gender confusion. It may happen at 3 or 4, but in most cases it’ll happen around 5. But not like this. There is no way a child outright rejects their gender before the age of 7 when they are able to get more information. There is much we don’t know about the human brain but always, when a new child is born they only have information at the basic level like anyone else it’s generally the same, every child has to go through the same learning process. You can’t just go up to a 3 or 4 year old and ask them who was the president of the United States in 1940 or know how to install a new stove. They are not going to know, unless they constantly watch their parents do these things in which the child may then know how to install a stove or they talked about who was the president in 1940 in which case the only way for a child to learn new things is to hear about it or see it.

A Parent’s Guide To Not Transing The Kids
What Blame Do Parents Share For The Sudden Emergence Of Trans Kids?
Transgender children are at greater risk of mental health problems
Transgender and gender-fluid teens left with few safe harbors
Churches Respond to Boy Scouts Transgender Policy
Transgender Activist: Preference for Kids’ Single-Sex Shower Rooms is ‘Prejudiced’

Just seeing these above links shows how much resistance there is to make sure children won’t turn out as transgender. More parents are concerned and if the survey’s on, Poll: Most Americans Want Bathroom Access Decided By Biological Sex it could be around 45% who refuse to let their kids transition, and it could be up to 70% who would try to look for other options for their child.

Some parents who allow their kid to transition most likely felt as if there was no other options, not surprising when transgender activists are trying hard to make sure there are no other options besides transitioning,
Threatening Violence, Trans Activists Expel Un-PC Research At Medical Conference
Transgender People Need As Much Help As The ‘Human Ken Doll’ Does
‘Anti-Transgender’ Bus Tours Spain Declaring: ‘Boys Have Penises, Girls Have Vaginas’
THE TWO THINGS WE MUST SAY ABOUT THE TRANSGENDER DEBATE
Jenni Murray: Transgender women are not ‘real women’
Kenneth Zucker and Transgender Kids: Who Knows Best? Documentary on transgender children

So with the transgender activism shutting down Kenneth Zucker’s practice (which was completely humane, no conversion therapy/electroshock) this is a really big problem because the transgender activism is effectively removing any sort of treatment that helps people align themselves with their proper gender to force people into believing that transing children is the only answer.

‘Frightened’: Murders of 3 transgender women in Louisiana shake LGBT community
I’m Sorry, But Caitlyn Jenner Is a Man Wearing a Dress
BACKLASH: Gay and Transgender TV Die In the Ratings
Outraged Parents Band Together to Take Action Against LGBT-Pushing Disney
PRANK CALL: Target Transgender Bathroom Complaint!
Majorities of Americans Want Bathrooms Linked to Biological Sex, Not Gender Identity
Transgender bathrooms: Anybody talking about the assaults?
Transgender Bathroom Rights Could Become An Issue

With all those links including some of my blog posts,
Men hunt transgender woman through streets of New Orleans
National Geographic’s Transgender Avery’s parents receive a wave of death threats and bullying. Why it is imperative for parents to understand the dangers of allowing their children to decide gender
New survey shows that transgenders are 54% likely to attempt suicide

It is imperative that we mute the transgender activism in some way or another so the sane adults can work a realistic solution. It doesn’t do any good to force gender ideology down children’s throats or to encourage the idea that they may in fact be, transgender. The earlier children may identify as transgender the greater the chance people will accept transgenders. That won’t work, it may work for awhile, the transgender activism could potentially silence the ‘transphobic’ society into forcing them to accept transgenders but it’s a means to an end. Gender identity, is not real. You do not identify with gender the same way you identify as a punk rocker or goth. Gender has and will always be attached to the sex you were born as and you cannot change that anymore than you can change a dog to meow like a cat.

Transgender activism will use harsh words like bigots, discrimination, uneducated, transphobic, and any other word that gets people scared. The point is, we should not be scared, as a society if we find something repulsive or immoral, we have to stand up to it. Get tough and show the transgender activism that we will not be bullied into accepting such a dangerous lifestyle, especially a dangerous lifestyle for our children. Children and people are not born transgender. It is a mental issue that needs to be rectified by ethical treatments. Transitioning is not an ethical treatment, nor will it ever be. Saying that it is does not make it so. Telling people that you were born as a male but identify as a woman does not make it truth. It just means you are confused. And to anyone reading this that may be hurt or angry, it’s just the truth. If i were to tell an obese person that they need to go to the gym to work out that isn’t being hateful, it’s telling them that they need to work on improving their health. The same with any eating disorder or type of depression. There is no nice way of saying when someone has a problem but when we ignore these problems and mask it by putting on a costume it doesn’t make it stop.

So transgenders attempt suicide because society rejects them. Or society does not understand transgenders and no matter how hard you try to explain it, it still doesn’t make any sense. Gender identity is not logical. If you find a glass, hold it up and call it a cup, glass or bottle it would make sense to most people. That’s because we associate those words with the object. If you held an aluminum soda can and said the same thing, cup, glass.. ect. most people may scoff and say, that’s a can. While we could say that an aluminum can be a glass, ect.. it’s not really the proper name for it because there’s a difference between the two and if you were to describe it to someone over the phone, internet they would be confused if you were to tell them that you are holding a glass, yet it’s a soda can. The same is for transgenders, i probably have mentioned this time and again but the reason males are called men is because we associate men as males. The same with females=women. It’s almost hardwired into our subconscious on how we percive sex and gender.

So there is no way there will be an overwhelming support of transgenders, it just won’t happen and there is another list of mental disorders that is becoming the acceptable norm within a few people,
Man spends $50,000 on over 100 procedures to transform into a ‘genderless’ ALIEN
Woman who dreamed about being blind had DRAIN CLEANER poured in her eyes by a sympathetic psychologist

It’s only natural too to want to sympathize with people who have a disorder, but we treat disorders, not encourage them. The sympathizing needs to stop at, “wow sorry you have a problem there, we need to get that treated”, and not, “cool, so you identify as blind, i can help you with that”. Transgenders do need mental help and in order to get a handle on this we definitely need to come up with a way to treat the transgender activism, even though they’ll flat out refuse any treatments, including a magic pill that will cure their gender confusion. Since the transgender activism is sneaky, manipulative and deceptive it’s time to play that game because it seems common sense and logic isn’t working with these people so society has to be sneaky and underhanded in order to stop the tyranny of the activism. We have to throw all this manipulative crap back on them because these people will stop at nothing to keep any sort of humane treatments from surfacing to the public. At any rate the activism forces parents to work out of their basements in order to find a treatment that works for gender confusion. It’s either that or toss their child out which is generally the only other option families have when their child will not be obedient.

There’s a few more links, sorry if i bombarded this post with them but it was a lot these past several weeks on this annoying subject, but if we can’t rectify this, then there really isn’t any hope for humanity, at least for now and the only way that this situation would be rectified is a complete shutdown of our economic/social system leaving humanity in the dark ages once again. It has happened before and as much as we’d like to keep society running this transgender situation (which there are more important subjects to discuss) is a cut clear sign of social decay.

2 transgender women were killed in New Orleans in 48 hours
CIARA MCELVEEN IS THE SIXTH TRANSGENDER WOMAN KILLED THIS YEAR
Multiple Black Transgender Women Murdered in February
Sacramento transgender performer killed in New Orleans

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