Posts Tagged ‘Jesus’

Edit: I get the feeling she might be interested but is really scared. I got crazy waves of affection. She may really like me but either doesn’t know how I feel or doesn’t know how to handle it. The guys at work are usually talking about women sexually and maybe shes not that type of girl for a 1 night fling. I’m overthinking this but when you’re hit by consistent waves of feelings and a throbbing headache you cant help but wonder. So ill take it easy and when shes ready I’ll be waiting for her.

Original post:

I managed to find out my crush’s name which I wont mention for privacy but it seems she’s not very interested because soon as she mentioned her name she ran off to go talk to this other guy.

Now there can be other reasons why she did this but the fact she did may be because shes interested in this other guy which I will respect. And while talking to a couple of my co workers they seem to think we’d make a great couple but I mentioned yeah that would be nice if she didn’t seem frightened or not interested so I told them that I want to take it easy and just say hello in the morning.

Of course I’ve been getting headaches and a sense there was a connection between us so I figured there was something. The problem and this goes back to being forgiven was the fact I kept avoiding her. Early on when i first met her there was an instant connection. I just ignored it. Yes shes also very attractive but I didn’t notice it until I kept bumping into her. She seemed to be interested because she would seemingly search for me and I just didn’t see it until it was too late. Then I ignored her for several weeks then that’s when I gained an interest in her.

But it’s been a struggle ever since. And this last attempt just showed me that it’ll be easier just to say hello. Pushing it will only push her further way and eventually be the runner. So I’m just going to leave it be. Co workers think we would be a good couple so there is hope there. I just dont want to stress over it anymore.

Maybe one day she’ll open herself up to me or maybe those co workers will find a way. Until then I’m not going to run anymore. I also have to stop worrying and overthinking this. All I can do is wait for her. If not, well soulmates are like 1 in a million and considering the fact I felt an instant connection, really strong vibes and headaches (actually that’s a very good sign according to one of my blogger friend) I think if she left my life.. i may never find someone as amazing as her and she is very amazing. But I dont know how to get her into some sort of relationship. We barely talk. I know shes great looking and has a nice car and shes really nice. And I just know she is amazing due to the strong unspoken bond I have with her. I can talk to other women and while they may be very attractive there is no bond. No this is the first woman I met where I feel complete with her.

The problem is how to break the silence of a perfect relationship. Maybe she feels it too and is scared. Prayers for both of us that we can become closer together.


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Even though she bailed, I sort of moved on (not really but..) I have to seek forgiveness. I realised why she bailed for two reasons. One well, being that I moved on her too quickly by asking her to meet with me during lunch. It may have scared her (and it may be possible that she does really like me but is really timid, but I’m not going to assume that yet). The other reason.. well it might be possible that I made tbe mistake with a past woman who thought I was interested in her. Early on a co worker at a retail store asked me if I liked this cashier. I thought she was attractive but it wasn’t meant that I was interested.

Well that escalated quickly into her thinking that I was interested and I asked her if we could talk during break. We managed to work that out and we had a good conversation but afterwards I ignored her.. mainly because I wasn’t really into her. She was great to talk with but early on I found out she was vegan and her Myspace (the early Myspace days) and onother blog where she broke up with her boyfriend because he didn’t share her enthusiasm with being a Christian (she left for a year to go to some Christian bible camp) and later started going on a lot about Jesus and God.

I believed in that stuff, my dad was a hardcore Christian like her.. but I’m not huge into it like I don’t share the same infinity to go to church, take a bible study group and strictly keeping friends who are the same.

I don’t hang around bad crowds, get drunk or do drugs. I dont sleep with women, I’d rather save for a special woman. Heck I won’t even tear off those mattress labels.

I fail at being a good person all the time but I try. It gets tough when someone or something makes me angry though. My father had a lot of anger issues which led me to be disinterested in Christianity. There was others who were uptight about everything and i didn’t want to end up that way. After working with many Mexicans I noticed I like how they react to different situations, a few of them get pissy every so often but there is a ton of positivity and good energy (minus some of them trying to hook me up with a woman). I’ve also started watching the early seasons of Hawaii Five-O reboot. Besides having a ton of great action I like the interaction between Steve and Danny. Many of it is hilarious, but the whole team cares about one another (like they do in NCIS and MacGyver, both versions) and I like that. My current job co workers do the same, its like I told one of my bosses that my brake lines rusted out, causing brake loss and had to use the handbrake she was like, I need a new car.. but for now I gotta work with it but she wanted me to be safe. It shows that they dont just want to be a boss, they also want you to be safe and what not.

I had too much negativity in my life which isnt good. There still is but I’m dredging through it.

Back to this woman (the one from the Myspace days) I liked her, but for 2 reasons I just couldn’t proceed through it. Her being a vegan, it scared me off because I dont know how to handle it. We talked a bit but it felt a little forced…

Fast forward to my current crush, I wonder if maybe she thinks I would stop talking to her because in the beginning I did avoid/ignore her nor I really smiled when we crossed paths. I was caught up in work and wasn’t thinking about women (I had sort of given up at that time as well after Kaitlyn). Realizing a co worker trying to set me up with another woman who ended up in my field of vision, I just wasn’t interested. Seeing how I was interested in someone else (that I just feel I have a connection with) I wanted to focus on that but really just didn’t know how to and while I still don’t I know I have to seek forgiveness with her and hopefully be able to focus on trying to forma. friendship with her. If later on we start seeing each other and end up being a couple. I’m completely all for it. I would really like that and while it’s sort of on the table, I really do hope there is potential for that.

If not, and I have to accept that willingly (because I screwed up with Kaitlyn) and at least be great friends. It’ll be difficult, especially if she already thinks I’m interested in her and want a relationship but one of the things is. I won’t do anything until both of us are ready. If she doesn’t want a relationship with me, that’s fine. I just dont want her to feel like she has to avoid me because I’m attracted to her. I don’t want to do the same because I think she isn’t interested or because I’m too scared to find out.

Really all I want is to feel comfortable around her and for her to feel the same and we can get to know one another better. I felt a ton of anxiety being around the same plant as her and even during moments of just working. And I am scared to do this but I’ll just be there and see if she passes by and start off small and slow. I wont ask her to meet for lunch or do any approaching other than maybe a brief conversation. I will just wait for us to bump into one another. I dont want any more mistakes and I really need a ton of prayers with this. Hopefully I wont feel too anxious or scared and breaking the ice for first encounter hopefully on Monday or whenever I’ll just smile and say hi that it’ll progress. A lot of prayers for many other things is needed but for one, there has to be a reason why she appeared to try to get my attention. I want to find out what that was. Maybe she does like me but gave up. Or maybe she thinks I like someone else. Who knows what else. This is a struggle but when she bailed on the lunch meet, I felt hurt by it. And I forgive her. Hopefully she can do the same, especially since it’s been three weeks since we ran into one another. So we’ll see what happens and I hope it all works out.

I feel bi polar with this and its because I’m interested in her but I’ve been hurt too many times so I’m going back and forth with this and there’s just a battle going on. Need prayers with this as well.

Also my dad is Lutheran not Catholic. I’m not really sure of the difference but most people I know are Catholic.

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Kathy Griffin has quickly found out how doing something very wrong has some pretty pricey consequences. Please note, this is not a post to harass anyone, including Kathy Griffin. So don’t come on my blog saying i’m being mean or whatever.

Kathy Griffin

Kathy Griffin apologizes for photo shoot with bloodied Trump mask, says she ‘went too far’

After seeing that photo, it took me a bit to figure out what she has done reading some of the articles and needless to say what Kathy has done was unacceptable. To find this funny you have to be some kind of sick individual to begin with. Shortly after she posted these photos, a whole bunch of people were furious and she knew right away that what she did was wrong, immediately apologized and begged for forgiveness. However, if you are creating a life like head of someone, bloody it, then post it like a barbarian you already know what you are doing. And she thought this was a joke? It seems to me she was pretty serious about wanting Donald Trump dead. Using her comedy routine to vent frustration over Trump being president isn’t exactly the best thing.

Then this happened, Barron Trump Thought Kathy Griffin’s Beheaded Trump Image Was His Dad

Trump family sources tell us Barron was in front of the TV watching a show when the news came on and he saw the bloody, beheaded image. We’re told he panicked and screamed, “Mommy, Mommy!”

As it was put to us, “He’s 11. He doesn’t know who Kathy Griffin is and the head she was holding resembled his dad.”

Melania called out Kathy, saying what she did was disturbing, wrong and “makes you wonder about [her] mental health.”

Could you imagine a kid, having to go through the possibility of one of your parents being dead, murdered no less. Some people also believe Barron is autistic although i couldn’t find any concrete evidence of that.  Trump Family Has ‘Made It Very Clear’ What They Think of Kathy Griffin

If that’s not enough..  ‘He broke me’: A defiant, tearful Kathy Griffin slams attacks by Trump and his family

“I’m not good at being appropriate,” she said. “I’m only good at doing comedy one way. It’s in your face. I’m going to make fun of the president. And I’m going to do it more now.” 

Kathy Griffin Tiger woods

Kathy Griffin loses remainder of her tour gigs in wake of Donald Trump severed head scandal after dramatic press conference

Here is the full Kathy Griffin press conference,

After watching the video, she does seem sincere in her apology but at the same time she has some kind of mental illness. Many people won’t forgive her for her misdeeds and that is a big problem in this world today. Not to mention there is a whole lot of hate going around, Kathy and Trump are both catalysts for hate. The masses just follows, it’s basically “hate spreads like wildfire”.

As a Christian, we follow the mindset of forgiving people for their misdeeds, even if they do something really awful such as what Kathy Griffin did. At the same time, we must learn from our mistakes. Some people refuse to learn from their mistakes, such as the transgender activism. They often blame others for their own actions and instead of saying “ok, well people feel really strongly about being against transgender people so we need to talk to the doctor and find another form of treatment besides transitioning” they say and continue to say “your a bigot, you are uneducated, i hope people like you become extinct like the dinosaurs” which again fuels hate and rage. We can’t have some sort of common ground and with the Kathy Griffin scenario, there is a lot of hate being spewed around.

We live in a Godless society where people are doing what they want and ignore the consequences of their actions or their actions affecting other people in a negative way. With the media, slamming Kathy Griffin.. constantly berating Donald Trump there is no way to really see things other than intense hatred. This leads to violence and war. As a Christian we are taught there is a heaven and hell and when we die, we go to the one that we are judged with. What we do in this life will matter in the next. However, today we are living in between heaven and hell, to some it’s heaven, other’s it’s hell. Do we create a heaven here on earth or do we let it fall into the depths of hell? What we do matters!

(sorry for the potato video quality)

I like using the media for showing what i am talking about and what music or tv show can relate to. Shows like NCIS, The Walking Dead, Star Trek has a lot of different lessons.

But some haven’t learned them (i read recently about how people don’t need to respect robots)

The idea that Data is a sentient being is pretty complex. In reality we should be respecting all life, but to some it isn’t possible. They lack the spiritual guidance and chances are they think they are God. Star Trek Voyager revisits this with the Doctor, a hologram that clearly has shown he is a sentient being. Some people may have a saying “Ghost in the Machine”, well there’s a lot we don’t know about energy, about our souls. God created us in his image and i guess we are creating in his image as well.

Here are the songs (yes it’s death metal lol) that reflect the problems society has. If you don’t like the music, you can click on the lyrics. People will interpret the lyrics in different ways. I also added the lyrics to “Pitch Black Progress” by Scar Symmetry because it bears posting on the main page. So you can skip down if you’d like. On the surface the song is mostly towards consumerism, but at the same time it speaks to how our society functions. People don’t think for themselves, if one person sees another doing something, they’ll do the same thing no matter how crazy, stupid or insane it might be. It’s relevant to what this article is about, but at the same time, this article is only scratching the surface. “Pitch Black Progress” speaks to our very existence, what we are doing here with our time on earth. It is very limited and often times we’re on a one track mind. There is so much more to life than to work, watch tv, drink or to hang out, but we limit ourselves. We are caught up in this place called life rushing around to our next job that we don’t think about what we are doing.

(lyrics for After Life is at the bottom of the page)

(If you like this song, check out the rest of their album)

(Pure: DarkLyrics)

(Dead Harvest: DarkLyrics)

(Seven Are The Sins: DarkLyrics)

(Into Shadow: DarkLyrics)

(Pitch Black Progress: DarkLyrics)

Pitch Black Progress

This landscape mechanical
Well-oiled black machinery
Bio-driven computers
Programmed for slave labor

For slave labor!

Structure made in urban design
Kills the evolution of the mind
Marching on a dead end path
With misplaced concentration

It’s a pitch-black progress
It’s a dead end process
It’s a pitch-black progress
No more, no less

Digital temples monitor the population
Supplying the masses with what they see fit
Programming digital dreams for the consumers
A zombie nation devoid of improvisation

[Solo: J. Kjellgren]

Electro-hypnotic messages
Downloaded directly to the brain
Endless chanting subliminal
Hammers down the-will to resist
Progressing into a pitch black future
Leaving behind an analogue past
Promoting all of their new ways
Whatever the cost may be

[Solo: P. Nilsson]

It’s a pitch-black progress
It’s a dead end process
It’s a pitch-black progress
No more, no less

Introducing a pitch-black approach
Taste the horns of the future
Swallow the sulphur of the new order
To resist is to non-exist

I could list more songs but i think this may overload someone’s phone or something lol.

Last but not least here is the lyrics to “Break The Silence” by After Life. The song is about animal abuse but look a little deeper…

Each and every life

On earth has as much right
To be here as you and me
There isn’t a right way
To kill someone who doesn’t want
To die!

People don’t
want to hear
The truth about themselves
Closed and ignorant
We are totally blind

Without compassion
And respect for innocents
Our souls end up in Hell

Time to live thinking about
The struggles of survivors
To make a world free of your lies

Break the silence
We can see our Paradise?
Break the silence
Can we name it a Paradise?
I am the Voice of Voiceless
And i’ll say loudly that isn’t said
I am the Voice of Voiceless
A Voice to scream that isn’t said
End of endless lies…
Blinded innocence

Freedom, justice for them
Too many murders on our hands
Broken inside, acts of violence
Prayer, for a future
Free of cruelty and cowardice

We must not forget that hopeful world
Mistakes of the past, to break the silence…

It’s really up to society to determine the path to take. Our world needs a ton of prayers.

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