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All throughout my life i have kept going through my mind that i don’t want kids. I grew up in a rough childhood that i would never impose on another soul. The endless cycle of tormented souls is not my idea of a good time and my recent drama experiences this past week clearly shows how much life is so much of a douchebag. Now this is not to say i would never want to have kids or even adopt one it’s just that i am nowhere near the level of being ready, let alone the world isn’t just ready to have another me running around. I came across this article and i’m mystified why someone would argue over someone not having kids, Why Your Top 10 Reasons For Not Having Kids Are Stupid

Why? Even if i were to be a good parent (which i really don’t think so, i struggle with basic things), as a logical person we have more than enough people in this world. 7 billion. If we tried to bunch them all up in one area on the planet it would be very chaotic. I get mentally drained just from a day’s work, one of the reasons i am introverted is because i can only take being around so many people for so long before i need to relax. In reality i am just not the best fit to have a family.

I do not believe overpopulation is an issue, however with the social system we hold onto so much we have already exceeded the amount of people this system can carry (especially in some areas). We have more people than we do jobs with livable wages and besides that it’s rare to find a job that is stress free. I’ve heard some people say work isn’t supposed to be fun, but if you are not enjoying your job it’s going to make it that much harder to want to work 40+ hours so you can pay for that roof over your head and the vehicle to get to work. Besides feeling overwhelmed by the amount of people and the cost of living, people tend to have more than 3 children. I’ve heard of people having over 7 children (as high as 15). I have relatives who had children as high as 8. That’s too much, i am not judging these people because it’s not my life or any of my business, but it does factor in my reasons not to have children. That tends to go with population control. I’m not an advocate for reducing the population and genocide is just pure evil. However, i don’t see anything wrong with not wanting to have kids.

It is unclear if Christians frown on not wanting to have children, let alone sometimes i feel like my dad is disappointed in me for not having any kids yet (well or at least being in a relationship with someone). I don’t even want to discuss the subject with him, besides all the other reasons, i am not mentally capable of carrying for a child, birth or adopted doesn’t matter let alone i don’t care if people think i am ready or am capable of having children, i’m 37 years old but i feel like 60. I struggle with relationships, let alone with work and daily life so kids are really not even an option anyway, even if i wanted kids it would not happen regardless. I’m just trying to survive the day to day life.

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No seriously i wonder if it’s laziness, depression, tiredness or a simple case of idgaf because no one ever comes over. It’s not that bad now, i did clean it up to an acceptable point and i keep telling myself, this time it’ll work, but it ends up being..

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because generally when i’m at work i’m thinking, today’s that day i’m going to clean…

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and it’s the usual excuse, i’m too tired. I’m also only home 2 days a week (because i stay at someones house during the weekday for work) so that is generally the culprit but no, even during the week i get lazy and ‘forget’. It wasn’t always like this, when i first moved in, i always kept it pretty clean though most of the stuff i have was still in the packing crates. And it would always get progressively worse. It generally happened during the holidays where i would just be too tired, because working in retail was too stressful,
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but it turned into an everyday thing where it was easier to turn on a gaming system, computer or put on movies for the night than to pick up a broom and sweep. No one will care anyway right?

My apartments like to do a yearly inspection and not bother to tell you until a week (sometimes less, like 2 days).

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So they’re not even in the same month range. It would make sense to do it during the yearly renewal but they seem to not always do that. So now it takes me scrambling to get the place clean because i fail at being proactive and just keep it clean to begin with. Seriously if i spend an hour cleaning a week i wouldn’t care. But it still is a problem where i’d only clean when someone is visiting. So other than me getting into the routine of, “i’m too tired/lazy to do it” i ponder whether or not the last girl i was interested in didn’t do something.

rejected

Yes, i was rejected and not only that i was completely fine with being friends which was my original intention but i had people going,
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which actually ruined any chances of being best friends with her, because she would always assume that was interested in her which i was but she didn’t need to know that and again was completely fine with being friends.
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but again, that was perfectly fine if i was friendzoned, but i wasn’t just friendzoned, i was work-friendzoned. Anyway, i’m not looking for anyone nor i really want to find someone, which is another topic, Transgenders is a big reason i do not date or have a relationship so for the other major reason i do not date or am not in a relationship is because while rejection is a part of life, it’s not really something i am willing to put up with when i could be focusing on other stuff, like not cleaning the house…

funny-cat-lazy-human

So i’m going to have to come up with some sort of gameplan to keep my place clean and to avoid being lazy, tired or whatever. I doubt i am seriously depressed, maybe a touch of it but certainly not enough to really avoid doing housework. I got it done for now but i need to keep it clean and not cluttered.

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I could list the other reasons why i do not date or am in a relationship which more often times i get asked, “are you with anyone?” which i already find annoying. It’s one thing to ask about sports, music or what movies i like but to ask if i date or if i “have someone” for me it’s personal so it’s quite annoying when people ask this question and it’s mainly those who i don’t really know and this usually happens at work or i am at a gathering. But whatever, i usually tell them i don’t have anyone and not looking for anyone. But it does get old. I also have had the attempted setup which usually isn’t a setup it’s mostly “do you like that girl?” and i even had my parents try to set me up with someone from their church despite the fact i have never even seen this person (the ill fated blind date), in which i turned down.. 3x actually like my parents must have alzheimers or something. It’s not that i am not interested in women, i am but with certain life changes and experiences i have put my foot down and declared that i just won’t get into a relationship with anyone. The biggest reason would be kids, i really don’t want any especially with the ever increasing transgender acceptance without realizing there is still a huge amount of violence against transgenders and including violent transgenders.

Besides the practically mandatory if your child is transgender you need to let them transition that is seemingly sweeping our country and the idea of having a kid learn about this ideology behind it shows that it may be better not to have children. So that’s not on my list of stuff to do or even want to do. This world is already on thin ground already and you always start with a strong foundation. But besides that in the world of dating transgender women already would like for straight biological males to stop being homophobic or transphobic, Men do not want to date transgenders

Transgender dating dilemma

And transgenders do not seem to understand this. They first go on saying that transgender women don’t want to date biological men but then go on saying that biological men have a fetish with transgender women and then wonder why men don’t want to date transgender women. It’s like these people are confused, duh. I’m not and i don’t want to date someone who was once a male. I only like and am interested in biological women who are not confused about their gender. You can call this whatever you want and while yes transgenders are in the minority, it’s still a problem on this world. No way to differentiate men from women anymore because a few people have declared they are not the gender they believe they are. And the biggest problem is there is no way to tell, even in a Christian group there are some Christians accepting of transgenders. But until transgenders are legitimately cured (transitioning doesn’t count), no gender dysphoria i’m going to hold off on dealing with relationships or dating. I don’t actively refuse being in a relationship but at the same time, since i’m a man/male it’s way easier to not get involved in a relationship with anyone, despite getting some encouragement from others which i generally turn down it’s really not hard. Most men struggle with this but i guess with everything with my life experiences it’s really not a struggle to deal with.

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