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Posts Tagged ‘retail’

Is that your only entertainment? (Spoiling your desire)
To blow your minds on a one-way track
From a distance…

Building knowledge out of flexible existence
Hunt for adrenaline is staggering, grand lack of emotions
You’ll never face conclusions, you’ll get what you want
Am I really an exception?

Is that your only entertainment? (Spoiling your desire)
To blow your minds on a one-way track
I tell you a lie and you make it a statement (Sleeping in denial)
You’re all wasting the time of your lives

Distance – Soilwork

This is been me for quite awhile now. At least feeling like i am wasting my life. Eh, not entirely but i work all week and then when i come home for the weekend i’m mostly watching tv, playing videogames or surfing the internet. I used to work in retail and i never had enough money to do anything. Fast forward to day i work in a factory and i came to notice many of the people there get drunk and party. Well that’s not really my thing, especially as an introvert.

So this song kinda fits that but including with me i tend to do the same things. Stuff that is probably meaningless but i do it anyway. And having to clean my apartment (and sleeping) i really felt like i wasted my weekend. Well i needed to clean my apartment, is one thing and i didn’t get to spend a whole lot of time cleaning (more like i need to organize) but i do question what i am doing with my time. I don’t get to hang out with friends that often anymore (mostly because they’re all busy) and finding metalhead friends is so far and few between as it is. I’m not that introverted to the point where i need to isolate myself from all human contact but it hasn’t been as simple as it used to be to find new friends that actually have the time to be friends. Most of the people i either hang out with now are people (at work) or my dad, stepmom and my stepsister. And while i mostly am just talking to people i’m friends with at work sometimes i’d like to go out and do something.

As i’m typing this, Sunday is practically over. I have to get ready for the work week in which i don’t get to be at home, i’m at my fathers place all week. That does really need to change, but i have not found a closer place to work yet. Been trying to find a townhouse with an attached garage. With the limiting funds though it’s not easy. While i am making more i have a income to debt ratio especially when i have a limit of money in my savings. Buying a new home is costly, but it’s either that or spending near as much every month for an apartment. And i am tired of apartment living. In any case this is a strain on me to find a closer place, either that or i’ll have to start driving home daily, which puts more wear and tear on my old vehicle. I don’t mind the mileage as the maintenance is kept up, but the roads here tear up vehicles. And having a pet at home, a cat this makes matters even worse. She likes being home apposed to my dad’s and i think it’s because of too many people/animals there. 2 cats and a dog. So i definitely need to find a new place pronto not only for my sake but my cat. But, at this point nothing is found. I may have to sacrifice getting a place with a garage but also my car is being used as a garage. It’s tacky, hence the requirement to find a place that has a garage, plus i don’t have to dust/scrape off my car in the mornings.

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cluttered-room.jpg

No seriously i wonder if it’s laziness, depression, tiredness or a simple case of idgaf because no one ever comes over. It’s not that bad now, i did clean it up to an acceptable point and i keep telling myself, this time it’ll work, but it ends up being..

How about no.jpg

because generally when i’m at work i’m thinking, today’s that day i’m going to clean…

messy-house

and it’s the usual excuse, i’m too tired. I’m also only home 2 days a week (because i stay at someones house during the weekday for work) so that is generally the culprit but no, even during the week i get lazy and ‘forget’. It wasn’t always like this, when i first moved in, i always kept it pretty clean though most of the stuff i have was still in the packing crates. And it would always get progressively worse. It generally happened during the holidays where i would just be too tired, because working in retail was too stressful,
Retail.jpg

but it turned into an everyday thing where it was easier to turn on a gaming system, computer or put on movies for the night than to pick up a broom and sweep. No one will care anyway right?

My apartments like to do a yearly inspection and not bother to tell you until a week (sometimes less, like 2 days).

really-bruh-2

So they’re not even in the same month range. It would make sense to do it during the yearly renewal but they seem to not always do that. So now it takes me scrambling to get the place clean because i fail at being proactive and just keep it clean to begin with. Seriously if i spend an hour cleaning a week i wouldn’t care. But it still is a problem where i’d only clean when someone is visiting. So other than me getting into the routine of, “i’m too tired/lazy to do it” i ponder whether or not the last girl i was interested in didn’t do something.

rejected

Yes, i was rejected and not only that i was completely fine with being friends which was my original intention but i had people going,
ask-her-out

which actually ruined any chances of being best friends with her, because she would always assume that was interested in her which i was but she didn’t need to know that and again was completely fine with being friends.
Friend-Zone-Memes-23.jpg

but again, that was perfectly fine if i was friendzoned, but i wasn’t just friendzoned, i was work-friendzoned. Anyway, i’m not looking for anyone nor i really want to find someone, which is another topic, Transgenders is a big reason i do not date or have a relationship so for the other major reason i do not date or am not in a relationship is because while rejection is a part of life, it’s not really something i am willing to put up with when i could be focusing on other stuff, like not cleaning the house…

funny-cat-lazy-human

So i’m going to have to come up with some sort of gameplan to keep my place clean and to avoid being lazy, tired or whatever. I doubt i am seriously depressed, maybe a touch of it but certainly not enough to really avoid doing housework. I got it done for now but i need to keep it clean and not cluttered.

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