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Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

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From the crime show, NCIS. Gibbs has a rule to never date a co-worker.

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Anyway, this blog is a personal one (no EVs this time). My previous job I happened to like a girl who turned up didn’t like me back. I said some things to her online that I shouldn’t have and being at work has made things incredibly awkward. Not to mention work itself had gotten worse and I wasn’t getting enough hours (well other employees didnt get enough it was difficult times). I didn’t even want to be there because work had gotten too stressful. I felt like I didn’t belong there.

While this was happening I really got into watching NCIS and Rule #12 came up. Never date a co-worker. Sound advice and for those wondering what the other ones are…

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Some are missing, not mentioned or it’s an outdated photo im not sure which because I never kept up on every rule made. Some of them are good actually. So with my new job I kept the same mindset, Rule #12. It’s been working up until recently other co-workers have been trying to get me in a relationship with someone, no one in particular just generally asking me why I haven’t got a woman, wife or kids.

They also couldn’t have asked ata worse time. I have been focused on saving a new car (new 0-3 years, not an older vehicle) and I really want to get a Dodge Challenger, even if it’s a V6 version. But even with a bit of overtime it’s going to take some time to do. I can’t really afford to date right now and I really have no plans of a relationship.

Kids and possibly marriage is out of the question as they’re not cheap. Another thing is im not a romantic, sorry ladies. I feel like buying stuff like a card, flowers and chocolate, having candlelight dinners and long walks on beaches are a bit, outdated and cheesy. Going out to dinner at a greasy hamburger joint and seeing an action movie are my ideas of dating.

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All jokes aside many women are looking for a romance, something im probably capable of but not something I’d like to do and I’ve already made my peace with being single. Bottom line is that relationships are too much guesswork. Sometimes you don’t really know what the other person really wants and I’m not even sure I want a relationship.

Now that I got that out of the way there is a woman i work with, not really though considering the fact we’re on opposite sides of a small plant with a wall as a barrier, but there are times where she is on side I’m on. Mostly I haven’t really thought much of it but I work around one of the many access points to the plant I’m in so a few times she had mentioned, “good morning” before I had lost overtime hours and she started before me. So eh whatever, time goes by and just this last several weeks I caught her looking at me which at first I brushed it off but the most recent 2 was on Thursday. It was almost like she was looking at me like “why won’t you talk to me” but it could also be 200 other things.

The most obvious sign would be is the gossiping of me still being single from the guys. I almost wished I had said, yes I do have a gf so they could leave me alone, but they’ll be asking for photos. And you know, every smartphone has a camera so even if I had to take a photo of my imaginary gf sleeping, that just wouldn’t get them to stop asking for one.

I found a great job with a bunch of employees who are nosy.

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Oh well. Anyway since Thursday I just put up my blinders and focused on the job. All I can do is smile and move on. Not that this female co-worker isn’t attractive but well, I don’t really approach people i don’t know, unless it’s something I need I usually let others approach me. Makes it hard to make friends but as an introvert, it doesn’t really matter. I’m 39 years old and have never been on a date or relationship so at this point, in just used to the idea of being single that the idea of relationships just doesn’t interest me as much as it used to.

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All throughout my life i have kept going through my mind that i don’t want kids. I grew up in a rough childhood that i would never impose on another soul. The endless cycle of tormented souls is not my idea of a good time and my recent drama experiences this past week clearly shows how much life is so much of a douchebag. Now this is not to say i would never want to have kids or even adopt one it’s just that i am nowhere near the level of being ready, let alone the world isn’t just ready to have another me running around. I came across this article and i’m mystified why someone would argue over someone not having kids, Why Your Top 10 Reasons For Not Having Kids Are Stupid

Why? Even if i were to be a good parent (which i really don’t think so, i struggle with basic things), as a logical person we have more than enough people in this world. 7 billion. If we tried to bunch them all up in one area on the planet it would be very chaotic. I get mentally drained just from a day’s work, one of the reasons i am introverted is because i can only take being around so many people for so long before i need to relax. In reality i am just not the best fit to have a family.

I do not believe overpopulation is an issue, however with the social system we hold onto so much we have already exceeded the amount of people this system can carry (especially in some areas). We have more people than we do jobs with livable wages and besides that it’s rare to find a job that is stress free. I’ve heard some people say work isn’t supposed to be fun, but if you are not enjoying your job it’s going to make it that much harder to want to work 40+ hours so you can pay for that roof over your head and the vehicle to get to work. Besides feeling overwhelmed by the amount of people and the cost of living, people tend to have more than 3 children. I’ve heard of people having over 7 children (as high as 15). I have relatives who had children as high as 8. That’s too much, i am not judging these people because it’s not my life or any of my business, but it does factor in my reasons not to have children. That tends to go with population control. I’m not an advocate for reducing the population and genocide is just pure evil. However, i don’t see anything wrong with not wanting to have kids.

It is unclear if Christians frown on not wanting to have children, let alone sometimes i feel like my dad is disappointed in me for not having any kids yet (well or at least being in a relationship with someone). I don’t even want to discuss the subject with him, besides all the other reasons, i am not mentally capable of carrying for a child, birth or adopted doesn’t matter let alone i don’t care if people think i am ready or am capable of having children, i’m 37 years old but i feel like 60. I struggle with relationships, let alone with work and daily life so kids are really not even an option anyway, even if i wanted kids it would not happen regardless. I’m just trying to survive the day to day life.

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