Stress overload, reboot needed

I definitely need a reboot here. I’m getting some of the classic signs, i copied some of the stuff from the link below,

Health problems caused or exacerbated by stress include
Depression and anxiety
Sleep problems
Pain of any kind
Skin conditions, such as eczema

Signs and symptoms of stress overload
Memory problems
Inability to concentrate
Poor judgment
Seeing only the negative
Anxious or racing thoughts
Constant worrying
Anxiety and agitation
Moodiness, irritability, or anger
Feeling overwhelmed
Sleeping too much or too little
Withdrawing from others
Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities
Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing)

How much stress is too much?
Because of the widespread damage stress can cause, it’s important to know your own limit. But just how much stress is “too much” differs from person to person. Some people seem to be able to roll with life’s punches, while others tend to crumble in the face of small obstacles or frustrations. Some people even thrive on the excitement of a high-stress lifestyle.

Stress Symptoms, Signs, and Causes

I tend to fall in the crumbling in the face of small obstacles and frustration.

Today i didn’t really want to do much of anything, sure earlier today (or yesterday) i wrote something but among some of the symptoms, i sleep too much. Didn’t really want to do anything, but of course did some shopping at least. Some of it is exhaustion from work but sleeping around 4 hours today? Yeah, it is stress because procrastination and withdrawing from others are some of the others. I don’t think i ever fully recovered from my previous job which was a stress storm of anxiety. I definitely need a reboot and i’m not exactly sure how i’m going to accomplish this. I already am in the process of buying a home and i’m just wondering.. since today was supposed to be my home inspection but now is delayed until Friday i’m just wondering if i’m still able to back out.. but i don’t think i really want to or could really because i do need to get a home closer to work.

It’s really not clear what is causing my stress to be so overwhelming. Sure getting a new home is stressful and my current job is somewhat stressful at times and my father annoys me to no end (hence the previous 2 blog posts). I eat pretty much ok as i have been getting meals from my stepmom and they are pretty healthy stuff, but maybe i could exercise a bit more, although the area i am at now isn’t exactly a good place to go out and walk or ride my bike around. I do get exercise at work. I do struggle with friendships i’m not exactly sure what it is but i can never stay connected with friends for very long and i do tend to isolate myself from people, especially in recent years.

Again i don’t think i fully recovered and maybe taking some time off will do me some good when i get my new place (that’s if i get it, with all these roadblocks in the way). I can’t really be doing this all the time though, when i am off work i am usually just watching tv, which is much better than sleeping.. but on my days off, i generally sleep 2-4 hours during the day which shows i do have a stress/anxiety problem. I definitely need a reboot as i don’t want to continue having to do this on the regular basis. If i need 2-4 hours of sleep every once in awhile it’s no big deal but since this is a regular occurrence i really need something..  while music does help, it only helps to a certain extent and i need to know what will work for me. I really need to figure this out…

I would like to add that this sleeping problem has been an issue since working at my previous job. When i would get 3 days off i would sleep a lot and more than often i would sleep when i wasn’t working. Probably around 12 hours a day (that includes the normal 8 hours). Much of my stress and anxiety happened during my previous job, lack of income and i am thinking that problem hasn’t been entirely gone away or out of force of habit i tend to sleep, although generally if i take a nap it’s because i get tired. Again it’s unclear if it’s a habit or that i am still struggling with stress and anxiety. Of course the stress of buying a new home is there, but since i am nearly done with this only thing that is left is the home inspection and the appraisal, but there is a slight chance i won’t get the home.. which would actually add stress considering now i have to do the process over again of finding a home.. at this point i just want it to be over and done with. Once i get the home the stress levels should go down. I can only hope that it does…

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Wasting the time of our lives/finding a new home

Is that your only entertainment? (Spoiling your desire)
To blow your minds on a one-way track
From a distance…

Building knowledge out of flexible existence
Hunt for adrenaline is staggering, grand lack of emotions
You’ll never face conclusions, you’ll get what you want
Am I really an exception?

Is that your only entertainment? (Spoiling your desire)
To blow your minds on a one-way track
I tell you a lie and you make it a statement (Sleeping in denial)
You’re all wasting the time of your lives

Distance – Soilwork

This is been me for quite awhile now. At least feeling like i am wasting my life. Eh, not entirely but i work all week and then when i come home for the weekend i’m mostly watching tv, playing videogames or surfing the internet. I used to work in retail and i never had enough money to do anything. Fast forward to day i work in a factory and i came to notice many of the people there get drunk and party. Well that’s not really my thing, especially as an introvert.

So this song kinda fits that but including with me i tend to do the same things. Stuff that is probably meaningless but i do it anyway. And having to clean my apartment (and sleeping) i really felt like i wasted my weekend. Well i needed to clean my apartment, is one thing and i didn’t get to spend a whole lot of time cleaning (more like i need to organize) but i do question what i am doing with my time. I don’t get to hang out with friends that often anymore (mostly because they’re all busy) and finding metalhead friends is so far and few between as it is. I’m not that introverted to the point where i need to isolate myself from all human contact but it hasn’t been as simple as it used to be to find new friends that actually have the time to be friends. Most of the people i either hang out with now are people (at work) or my dad, stepmom and my stepsister. And while i mostly am just talking to people i’m friends with at work sometimes i’d like to go out and do something.

As i’m typing this, Sunday is practically over. I have to get ready for the work week in which i don’t get to be at home, i’m at my fathers place all week. That does really need to change, but i have not found a closer place to work yet. Been trying to find a townhouse with an attached garage. With the limiting funds though it’s not easy. While i am making more i have a income to debt ratio especially when i have a limit of money in my savings. Buying a new home is costly, but it’s either that or spending near as much every month for an apartment. And i am tired of apartment living. In any case this is a strain on me to find a closer place, either that or i’ll have to start driving home daily, which puts more wear and tear on my old vehicle. I don’t mind the mileage as the maintenance is kept up, but the roads here tear up vehicles. And having a pet at home, a cat this makes matters even worse. She likes being home apposed to my dad’s and i think it’s because of too many people/animals there. 2 cats and a dog. So i definitely need to find a new place pronto not only for my sake but my cat. But, at this point nothing is found. I may have to sacrifice getting a place with a garage but also my car is being used as a garage. It’s tacky, hence the requirement to find a place that has a garage, plus i don’t have to dust/scrape off my car in the mornings.

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